@RonnieChapman Funny Status Messages

   Girl I would strap 45 lb plates to my ball sack and swim up the Amazon river with Rosie O'Donnell's queef as my air supply to prove my value to you.

   I always keep an emergency $25 gift card in my back pocket for those unexpected gifts that I get from people I wasn't expecting to get a gift from..

   Them gas prices going down like White girls in a college town!

   It's all shlts and giggles till someone giggles and shlts..

   We all have a "friend" we don't even like..

   Relationships are a winter sport..

   Making girls who "aren't like that," like that. All Day, Every day.

   Whenever you're feeling down, I'll be there to feel you up. ♥

   Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)

   If you close your eyes when you're at the gym, it sounds like you're in a porno..

   Girls want a fairy tale relationship, guys want a happy ending. ;)

   saw a butterfly today with no wings, so I poured red bull on it and BAMMMM... it died :(

   Never get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you..

   Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)

   Got "White Boy Wasted" last night..  it's only right I go see The Hangover Part II today..  :)