@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   Call me lazy… but if it takes four clicks, I'm not reading it!!!!!

   After exercising I always eat a Pizza. Just Kidding, I don't exercise !!

   Tonight looks like a good night to do all the nothing I have planned! !!!

   When i'm available no one texts me. But when i'm busy... BAM! ...still no one texts me !!!

   If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done…!!

   I disagree, but I respect your right to be stupid.!

   SO HUNGRY.. but not hungry enough to get up and get food.!!!!!!!!!

   Can someone please call Carly Rae Jepsen so we can be done with this already?!!

   I'll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!

   “Leftover Bacon” – a phrase you've never heard before.!!!

   I'm on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle.!!!

   You just don't just come into someones life, make them care and then just leave.

   At home: I want to go out, I want friends. When I go out: I want to go home, I hate people.

   I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.!!

   BOY: "Hi" GIRL: "I have a boyfriend" BOY: "I said 'Hi' not suck my d!ck"

   I enjoy long walks on the Internet ;)

   Who the fnck do you think you are and why are you breathing?!!

   Still waiting for the best day of my life to happen...!!!

   At my funeral when they're lowering me into the ground I demand they play "Drop it like its hot"!!!

   If I'm on a date & its bad, I'm just gonna stand up & say "I'm an actor, they're all actors & you're on MTV's Disaster Date!" & run out.....