FADOLO Funny Status Messages

   The closest I've gotten to murder is holding cookies under the milk until the bubbles stopped.

   That one creaky floorboard that blows your cover.

   That moment of depression when you find out that you ran out of milk for your cereal.

   When you're in the car alone everyone outside is a serial killer.

   Next time I see a dead deer on the side of da road I'm going to leave & come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign says, "Help, need ride"

   I wish my farts would make people disintegrate like in "The Darkest Hour" movie trailer.

   The only time its acceptable for a girl to spit is if its into another girls mouth.

   2011- :( 1800- The muscles of my mouth are set downwards in an unamused manner.

   Makin Love Faces...(⊙_⊙) (⊙_-) (>__=) (=_-) (^_^) (O_^) [⊙_+] (x_X) (-_-) (°_⊙)(-_0) (^_⊙) (+_=)

   Home Alone = Porn at MAX Volume

   I went to a Muslim strip club last night, everyone was shouting "SHOW US YER FACE"

   I keep a baseball bat under the bed just in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me..

   Big girls take photos from the neck up.

   NBA = Nlggas Balling Again

   Who else thinks their ringtone is the best, but when you're in public and it rings, it's the most embarrassing moment of your life?

   took you to dinner,a movie,then for drinks,get back to your house then tell me you have your period (・_・)ノ”(ノ_<)

   If you turn on tennis and shut your eyes it sounds like a porno

   If the person is ugly , you call them a stalker. If the person is goodlooking, you call them a secret admirer.

   Who else still thinks they have super powers, but they just don't know how to activate them yet?

   When men give women roses they expect Tulips in return.