Funny Status Messages

   SO many M^GA guys have beards. To hide that weak-assed jawless slope of a chin. Must take them 20 minutes to put on a f*cking pillow case 😂

   Many M^GA women are extremley flexible. This is true. They have to be, considering most M^G^ guys have trouble gettting it up. So she needs to do be able to do handstands against the wall so they can at least drop it in.

   Then of course there's the jury of HIS peers, finding him liable for sexually abusing advice columnist E. Jean Carroll in 1996. Can't forget about that one. Then of course, there's him being the worst "president" in the history of the United States....

   Since the 1970s, at least 26 women have publicly accused him of r*pe, kissing, and groping without consent; looking under women's skirts; and walking in on naked teenage pageant contestants. Then of course, there's 13 year old Katie Johnson.....

   We're all gonna need lower mortgages seeing as our 401k's just became a 201k's.

   Mortgage rates are dropping. Thanks, President T.

   You've heard the term 'stolen valor'... GaryKoenig has 'stolen humor.'

   Canucks are creepy weirdos relegated to the USA's attic.

   Canuck corn holed Biden

   Canuck is a blowboy

   Canuck gives skull to GaryKoenig

   Canuck likes fried hockey boogie.

   GaryKoenig and Canuck have the blues. They blue each other.

   he actually golfing with Sauudi royal family instead of attending the transfer of 4 US soldiers who died in Lithuania? As his BS tariffs are sending stocks PLUMMETING for the second day? He literally doesn't give a damn about us. We've been duped.

   F News has removed Stock Market numbers from their ticker. I wonder why?

   Look. Anyone can make a mistake. When President Trump imposed a 10% tariff on penguins, he innocently thought they were retired nuns.

   I wonder if the people paying $300 for a colon cleanse even know about Taco Bell's $4.99 deal.

   "We will sign a new trade agreement with the European Union and work to further diversify our trade to other ex-U.S. Partners." Mexico President Claudia Sheinbaum. Atta girl 🇲🇽

   If tariffs are so bad, why does the rest of the world impose them on the U.S.?

   "90% of Japanese cars are made in Japan." Before being called back to the stage after forgetting to actually sign the document. Donald Tr🤡mp (Stable Genius) April 2nd, 2025