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Page: 183 of 6443
My smart washer was compromised the S. Union so I couldn’t do laundry today, at least that’s what I’m going to tell her.
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07-07-2022 07:39
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41 shot in NYC this past weekend, 77 in Chicago, 24 in Atlanta. But it's ok... no need for the media to report it. But here were no police officers involved.
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07-07-2022 07:37
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If I throw a bouncy ball, will you run away?
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07-07-2022 00:59
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I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in face, but with words.
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07-07-2022 00:58
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The trash gets picked up tomorrow, be ready.
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07-07-2022 00:58
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You must’ve been born on the highway, that’s where a lot of accidents happen.
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07-07-2022 00:57
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I would call you an idiot, but that would be insulting to idiots.
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07-07-2022 00:56
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Don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it REALLY works.
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07-07-2022 00:55
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There’s someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.
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07-07-2022 00:54
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Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
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07-07-2022 00:53
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Man rule: Plastic water bottles must be crushed prior to disposing.
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07-06-2022 15:18
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It's official...my childhood punishments are now my adult goals! Going to bed early, forced to stay inside, naps, and eating healthy!
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07-06-2022 13:04 by
@ttmichael09
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I wish I could steal corny one liners and click "Iike" on my own posts as an act of hollow accomplishment.
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07-06-2022 11:44
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I use a “retirement calculator” every morning before I leave for work to make sure I’m on track financially and I only have 1718 years to go
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07-06-2022 08:20
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Godzilla was the first house flipper.
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07-06-2022 08:19
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Got caught by three red lights on my way home and now my avocados are bad
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07-06-2022 08:18
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Everybody’s big on freedom until they find you passed out naked on their boat
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07-06-2022 08:17
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Army ants must REALLY hate boot camp.
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07-06-2022 08:17
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I don’t want your pity sandwiches. I mean I’m still gonna eat them and enjoy them. But I don’t want them.
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07-06-2022 08:17
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I wonder how many tragedies I’ve prevented by standing nearby with my hands on my hips saying “Be careful!”
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07-06-2022 08:16
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