Eddy Funny Status Messages

   wqhen the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie....you're a clumsy astronaut

   there's that old saying that "you are what you eat" so for Halloween i'm thinking of passing out dum dum suckers to the neighborhood kids

   when science teachers were gonna talk about "natural disasters" I thought they were gonna talk about relationships

   i think my teachers were lies ....they said "A for Apple".....the iphone just keeps repeating itself

   be glad ur not a smurf....they have blue balls 24/7

   i pirate so many songs & movies that I should download a boat

   Cerebrospinal fluid (facebook asks what's on my mind)

   women are like groceries....the really heavy ones should be double-bagged

   Happy labor day to all the moms out there....oh, you mean that's not what it means?

   are the smurfs just a midget tribe of the Avatars?

   maybe i'll get laid by my wife....she said that will happen once in a blue moon

   the way everything you do is connecting to facebook, I look for bank accounts to get connected one day & the bank teller will say "that check bounced but we see ur friends with this person who looks rich...ask them to borrow some"

   the song "100 bottles of beer on the wall"...most not be much alcohol in them if you can keep track of 100 beers you've drank

   parents dont need energy drinks...they already have monsters that keep them awake all day

   does fantasizing about the cheerleaders count as "fantasy football"?

   the store has close parking spots for "new parents"...if I adopt a 10 yr old, do I get to park there?

   hey dad, thanks for using a cheap condom...mom did the rest of the work

   golf is about "strokes" & "balls"...if that isnt a gay sport, idk what is

   if dinosaurs really existed why dont you hear about them in the bible?...not even loading 2 of them on the ark

   laughing cow cheese...i wonder what grass those cows eat to laugh so much