fadolo Funny Status Messages

   If her p*ssy tastes like vinegar, she wasn't expecting you to get this far.”

   You say toilet, I say Christmas beer vomit receptacle.

   If judging others is a sin, Santa must be going to hell.

   You can tell whether or not your relationship is going to last by simply watching her eat a Popsicle.

   "1..2..3.. SMILE!"...... "Did you take it yet?" "Damn, it's on video!"

   Finished Christmas shopping and gift wrapping over four months ago. The puppy doesn't make as much noise as it used to.

   Ladies, you're running out of time to hump your way to some excellent Christmas presents from that guy you're sort of seeing right now.

   What happens when you pepper spray a German? He can Nazi.

   How are we suppose to have flying cars if we can't even get AM radio without static?

   White Parent: “you embarrassed your family for fighting at school!” Black Parent “Who won?”

   The weather man (drug dealer) says I can have a white Christmas (cocaine) with plenty of trees (weed) and now I'm happy (broke)

   The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word "facial" is used.

   Son: "Dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Dad: "Ask your sister." Son: "But I don't have a..."

   Dear guy that invented the metal wires, screws and clips that hold kids toys to the cardboard packaging with a death grip: I HOPE YOU DIE.

   Facebook may say that we are friends, but I wouldn't hesitate to punch you in the face!

   Floyd Mayweather beat up his wife and wanted to go to jail so he can duck Manny Pacquiao again

   How does justin bieber remove a condom? He farts.

   If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit end on a call, we would have no friends.

   (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ *flips table* Who the hell drank my beer!

   blackparent:*spank* . DIDNT . *spank* . I. *spank* . TELL *spank* YOU *spank* TO *spank* . CLEAN . *spank* . UP ? MOVE YA HAND ! *spank*!