Marshall the great Funny Status Messages

   I bet the hardest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who's always right.

   Nothing quite takes the place of research like making stuff up.

   I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.

   I need a credit card that can afford my lifestyle.

   If my plane is about to crash, I doubt I'll be using my seat as a "flotation device." More likely, it's gonna be used as a toilet.

   If you took a Facebook IQ Test and it determined you're a Genius, the fact that you participated in a Facebook test negates the results.

   The key to friendship is to accept the other person's faults. You'll understand this should I ever develop any.

   There is really quite nothing like the flavor of a rejected Facebook friendship invitation.

   People say hard work never killed anybody, but did you ever know anyone who "rested to death?"

   Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

   I love how I don't have to watch the weather channel, I just sign onto Facebook and check the latest status updates.

   Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.

   I know two wrongs doesn't make a right, but I'm determined to find out just how many wrongs will.

   I need a way to change my relationship status to "Out of Order" or "Temporarily Out of Service."

   I didn't realize until Facebook that most of my friends are wannabe farmers, gangsters or cooks.

   I like the new "like" button to "like" someone's response to a status they possibly "like." So, like, when can they add a dis-"like" button? You know, like to use on this status.

   I'm dedicating this status update to all the statusless people out there. Stay strong.

   I think that someday we'll look back on all of this and blame someone else.

   I LOVE it when people are overly sarcastic. No, really, it's great! Thanks a bunch!

   If I have to endure another day where Facebook doesn't work and is constantly disappointing me, I might have to start dating it.