Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Beginning of relationship- 1) Don’t ever change. 2) You have to change. 3) You’ve changed. -End of relationship-

   The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.

   Devil with the blue dress on...oh wait is that a Gold dress. Well, either way .....the prince of darkness is a cross-dresser.

   I hear Black Sabbath and Blue Oyster Cult are planning a reunion. They're going to call it the White and Gold Tour.

   Brett also got me a pen for my birthday.....He should have splurged and gotten a better one though... I can totally get out of this one....

   I wanna be rich enough to wear a blouse and not look gay in it.

   She lost me at, "let's talk about that dress."

   Dear Interwebs, You guys go nuts over a stupid dress, and now Spock is dead! This is why we can't have nice things. Stop it, K? Thx.

   My wife wanted two cats but I am the man in this house so we got two cats

   a chinese vendor just sold me a new movie calles ' 50 cent of Drey'

   Spock inspired many a latina to shave their eyebrows and draw on freaky ones.

   Huge Star Wars fan, Can't imagine a world without Spock.

   "when I made the dress I used gold and white fabric" - Brian Williams

   I am getting pretty low on Girl Scout Cookies.... Threat Level: Orange

   It's so sad that Leonard Nimoy didn't live long enough to find out what color that dress was.....

   Dear Leonard Nimoy. As much as I hate to see you go, thanks for upstaging that stupid "Dress Color Controversy" thing on Facebook. It's black and blue, by the way.

   Beam him up, Scotty. There is no more intelligent life down here.

   The worst part about the end of February is having to take down all my Black History Month decorations

   ME: "Hi kitty" CAT: "Wanna see my butthole?" ME: "No thanks kitty" CAT: "Imma show you my butthole"

   What if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan's body and is ruining Lindsay's reputation and Lindsay is just eating Activia and pooping?