joser Funny Status Messages

   Why is in that in America they make the sick walk all the way to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

   Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

   Do it tomorrow. You've made enough mistakes for today.

   Bad news: I burned my finger on the toaster. Good news: 1 down, 9 stupid incriminating fingerprints to go.

   it's not illegal it's frowned upon

   Less work. More aholic.

   I mix Corona with water and it gets me drunk... mixed Wine with water and it gets me drunk... I mix Tequila with water and gets me drunk again... therefore I've reached the conclusion that water is bad for me...

   Many personality flaws are now treatable mental illnesses... My insurance denied me coverage, apparently being an @sshole is a preexisting condition.

   Ok, TV coroners. We get it. You're comfortable around dead bodies. You can stop putting your sandwiches on them.

   I once went 4 days with out a cell phone. So ya, Third World Countries, I get it now.

   With all the disease in this world, I'm just happy I didn't catch "The Stupid", or any other airborne illness like Freckles

   What do I mean, "inner geek"? I'm deluding myself -- I'm pretty much geek all the way through.

   put the bom in the bom sha-bom bom, but lays no claim to the ram in the ramalama ding dong.

   thinks copy & paste is the greatest invention ever thinks copy & paste is the greatest invention ever thinks copy & paste is the greatest...

   sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.

   When asked "What would you bring with you to a deserted island", how come no one ever replies, "A boat."?

   With all the technology available now, you'd think they'd have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.

   Sunburn is only a laughing matter when it happens to someone else.

   how many hijackings with nail clippers and shampoo have there been? None, that's how many!

   If the show is called America's Got Talent, how come Howie Mandel is hosting it?