fadolo Funny Status Messages

   I just finished washing a load of paper plates if anyone's wondering about my bank account balance.

   there a way to write a Yelp review for one of my girlfriend's farts?

   Chuk Noris knows everything. Except for one thing. And he knows what it is.

   Shoutout to the girls that got that good rooster neck

   Charles Barkley's head looks like an Angry Bird.

   (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ " make me a Sandwich!" .. Girlfriend : ( -.-) "HELL NO!" ... (╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ "THE HELL YOU SAY?!?"

   R.I.P to the virginitys about to be lost tonight.

   Silly hairdresser, always puts my cape on backwards.

   Those awkward car rides with people you barely know.

   "When life gives you eggs, turn them into omelets!" is probably a terrible slogan for an abortion clinic.

   The decoys on 'To Catch A Predator' must have a hard time getting dates.

   I Can Only Play The Hand [♠][♥][♦][♣] That GOD Has Delt Me -

   I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can moonwalk?

   When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.

   Waking up for work :(-_-) .. Waking up on a saturday: \( 'O' )/

   Just got "I <3 U" texted to me. Of course I also think one is less than three. Idiot.

   I hate it when I buy a hamster at the pet store, and it grows huge, becomes a rapper and steals my KIA...

   Every trip to Wal-Mart results in me seeing an equal number of people I THOUGHT were dead and I WISH were dead.

   Sometimes when I wanna be really romantic........ I light a candle when I masturbate

   C)-hrist gave H)-imself as a R)-eward so that I)-ndividuals know the S)-acrifices T)-hat he made for M)-ankind to A)-chieve the gift of S)-alvation.”