Eddy Funny Status Messages

   if i'm not funny, amusing, or entertaining in any way there is no refund

   if George Takei starts asking a lot of questions does he become "curious George"?

   i don't get it...tonight theres millions of breaking & entering cases but nobody calls the police because they get bought off with presents

   twas the night before Christmas & all through the trailer park, not a creature was stirring, not even a dog's bark (redneck edition)

   dear Myans, its ok to be wrong...its not like its the end of the world

   i'm thinking about sending a fruitcake to some family members for Christmas...u know the old saying "you are what you eat"

   since Norman Joseph Woodlawn is dead, I wonder if they're going to put a bar code on his casket

   are we gonna hear it all day about the stupid date? ooohhhh the numbers are the same. all my cheerios are the same too but I dont tell everyone about it everytime it happens

   so many kids give carrots to the reindeer on Christmas & as they're flying you never hear of any droppings hitting a car or a roof.....id like to see that insurance claim

   who cares how it's spelled or its scientific properties....to argue over it instead of drink it tells ur losers

   electrocuting the engineer

   ego boost: put a bumper sticker on the car that says "honk if I'm sexy" & then drive very slow

   I wonder if Colorado or Washington girl scouts can make "special cookies" to sale along with the others

   during the local christmas parade tonight, the local hospital had a float that read "more than a hospital"...yeah, they're also a morgue

   when women want to be treated like a princess, they go looking for prince charming....they need to look for Mario....he will do anything & has a lot of extra lives

   eating some thanksgiving pie still with some cooh whip...cant have pie without cooh whip

   the doctor says go to the gym but he doesnt say to step inside it....theres a Chick-fil-A next to the gym at the mall

   i think before a member of congress makes a speech they should be drunk ....that way they wont lie

   2 things you never guess on women: age & weight....wrong answers hurt

   now with Hostess going out of business, we wont have any twinkies to eat when the zombie apocalypse happens