fadolo Funny Status Messages

   The most best things in life can't be seen or touched....at least that's what the restraining order says.

   Like you've never tried using the Force to reach the remote.

   If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I'm gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth.

   Went over to my hippie neighbor's house and asked for a pot holder, and he came out with a sandwich bag. Note to self: New best friend

   What food decreases a women's sex drive faster than anything else? Wedding cake

   ‎#<( '-'< ) I was going to give you this waffle, ( >'-' )># but then I was like, ( >'#'< ) I'm hungry ( >'-'< ) so I ate it."

   I'm a passionate man. I like some things and love others. Example: I like coming and I love leaving.

   The only thing more stressful than a blind date is meeting a new drug dealer for the first time.

   I never banng a blakc chikk, not 'cause I'm rasis it's just that I'm more of a "run my fingers through her hair" kinda guy.

   Independent women throw your hands in the air!!!! Whooooooo! Ok now put your hands down and go do some dishes.

   Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

   Hoes Love buying Sharpies so they can draw on their eyebrows like this (^_^) (~_~) (`_`) ("_") (-_-) (/_\) (-_=) (~_^) (-_~) (*_~)

   Mustaches are just wings for your nose

   My goal on Saturday is to spend the maximum amount of time being horizontal as possible.

   Guys with great penmanship probably jack-off to other men with that fancy writing hand of theirs.

   If you're fat and you are sitting down, there's a 100% chance your crack is showing.

   My head says, "go to the gym." But my heart says, "stay on the internet forever and eat!"

   I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you here an arab counting down from ten your instincs kick in.

   The wife doesn't like the term "fingerbang" so I said I wouldn't call it that anymore. Now I say digitblasting, she don't like that either.

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