Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1443 of 6446

All you have to do is copy and paste this status and FB will award 200 on people. FB is such a great mode of transporting lies to the naive.
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12-23-2015 08:45
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Jesus was born in october. Just saying...
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12-23-2015 07:07
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i'm offened that people get offened
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12-23-2015 05:38
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I'm an adult and I still believe in Santa clause, I figure why not? There's still adults who believe in Obama.
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12-23-2015 04:49
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Cousins are Cool to see, Impossible to Forget and True to your heart.
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12-23-2015 01:35
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Tim Burton films used to be deep, now they're just depp.
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12-22-2015 17:16
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Just when I thought I'd never get the chance to hear a Presidential candidate say "schlong"..
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12-22-2015 15:54 by Boz
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I would win Dean's Award if Steve Harvey hosted my graduation.
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12-22-2015 08:53
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Relationship status: I don't need love. I need money right now.
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12-22-2015 06:24
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You are having sex before marriage but when it comes to enjoying this bacon all of sudden ‘religion’ doesn't allow
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12-22-2015 02:55
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my girlfriend told me she’s leaving me because of my Justin Beiber obsession, I responded “sorry, what do you mean?”
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12-22-2015 02:54
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I tweeted to Steve Harvey tonight that he was still my favorite all-time host of Family Feud; but two and a half minutes later I tweeted again to tell him it is actually Richard Dawson
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12-22-2015 00:36
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white privilege is Adam Sandler still being allowed to make movies.
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12-22-2015 00:13
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I've never seen grown men more upset over a Disney Movie in my life.
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12-21-2015 23:12
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So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off,, and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
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12-21-2015 21:00 by snotty
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HI, MY NAME IS JOHN ITS BEEN OVER 3 MONTHS SINCE MY LAST LOWER CASE LETTER... I JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS, ITS A DAY TO DAY BATTLE, BUT I COULDNT DO IT WITHOUT YOU GUYS.
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12-21-2015 20:57 by snotty
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If you ask for plastic grocery bags in Whole Foods, they put one over your head & suffocate you with it.
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12-21-2015 20:36 by snotty
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secretly wishing that Steve Garvey will someday be announcing winners of UFC cage matches.
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12-21-2015 18:02 by Wayne
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Columbia is going to invade phillipians......um did I spell that right? After watching the Pageant ...Im confused also
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12-21-2015 14:44 by jitney
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Pro Tip: If He/She is only free one day a week. They are only there for hook ups
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12-21-2015 14:09
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