Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I dont think the ugly loser should become president!
←Rate | 12-23-2015 16:41 by MC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think we should put elementary school teachers in a position where kids can say " the president calls people ugly and losers so why can't I"?
←Rate | 12-23-2015 13:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♫♪ " ...It's beginning to look a lot like ̶̶C̶̶H̶̶R̶̶I̶̶S̶̶T̶̶M̶̶A̶̶S̶̶ El Niño, everywhere I go..." ♫♪
←Rate | 12-23-2015 09:54 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the official day for guys to start their Xmas shopping
←Rate | 12-23-2015 09:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI: A group of meth labs is called a "Missouri."
←Rate | 12-23-2015 08:58 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the future we will type with our toes to keep our hands free for punching robots.
←Rate | 12-23-2015 08:52 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon All you have to do is copy and paste this status and FB will award 200 on people. FB is such a great mode of transporting lies to the naive.
←Rate | 12-23-2015 08:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jesus was born in october. Just saying...
←Rate | 12-23-2015 07:07 Comments (3)  


   messageicon i'm offened that people get offened
←Rate | 12-23-2015 05:38 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm an adult and I still believe in Santa clause, I figure why not? There's still adults who believe in Obama.
←Rate | 12-23-2015 04:49 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Cousins are Cool to see, Impossible to Forget and True to your heart.
←Rate | 12-23-2015 01:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tim Burton films used to be deep, now they're just depp.
←Rate | 12-22-2015 17:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when I thought I'd never get the chance to hear a Presidential candidate say "schlong"..
←Rate | 12-22-2015 15:54 by Boz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would win Dean's Award if Steve Harvey hosted my graduation.
←Rate | 12-22-2015 08:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationship status: I don't need love. I need money right now.
←Rate | 12-22-2015 06:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are having sex before marriage but when it comes to enjoying this bacon all of sudden ‘religion’ doesn't allow
←Rate | 12-22-2015 02:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my girlfriend told me she’s leaving me because of my Justin Beiber obsession, I responded “sorry, what do you mean?”
←Rate | 12-22-2015 02:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tweeted to Steve Harvey tonight that he was still my favorite all-time host of Family Feud; but two and a half minutes later I tweeted again to tell him it is actually Richard Dawson
←Rate | 12-22-2015 00:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon white privilege is Adam Sandler still being allowed to make movies.
←Rate | 12-22-2015 00:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never seen grown men more upset over a Disney Movie in my life.
←Rate | 12-21-2015 23:12 Comments (0)  




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