Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Can't believe a human being actually chooses to support Donald Trump. Leave that to animals.

   still can't believe there are Obama supporters out there.

   Snowstorm so white Jada Pinkett-Smith is boycotting it.

   If you are thinking about getting married but are unsure, ask yourself "What would Jesus do?" Then remember that Jesus was never married.

   Am I the only one who gets disappointed pulling up next to a Kia Soul and there isn't a hamster driving it. . .

   The hardest thing I've ever done is uninstall Dota 2!

   While drunk me would love to grab your butt...sober me would probably agree

   Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn't have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.

   It was so cold today, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pocket.

   Was visiting New York and asked someone, "How do I get to Carnegie hall?" The said, "Practice man, practice."

   These aren't wrinkles on my face, they're road maps

   I'm so broke, I owe myself two bucks

   The American bald eagle is no longer America's National Bird...it is now Obama's middle finger

   Slowly, Waldo's wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.

   Ladies of the east coast.... you wanted 8+ inches, here you go.

   The snow storm is way too white, I think it's time to boycott.

   Alcohol and denial are cheaper than therapy. . .

   I hope snow storm Jonas doesn't bring his other 2 brothers

   A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it hit the bottom of his throat. Ever think about that? No, you only think about yourself.

   People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that's called a Turn Signal.