Eddy Funny Status Messages

   I've always been told to dress for the job you want. I love my cape

   whats the difference between love & a sandwich? I'm great at making a sandwich

   today Obama signed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)....is it still legal to tell my gf to make me a sandwich?

   people get so mad at me in the self-checkout lane....i stand there checking myself out just like the name says. they say I take too long

   why do ppl say they are "under the weather"?....unless ur an astronaut, were all under the weather

   i keep getting all these popups...if this lasts 4 hours, I'm gonna have to visit WebMD

   this status has been formatted to fit your screen

   theres the old saying "you are what you eat"....glad I'm not in Britian eating horse's ass

   id hate to be a vegetarian in Russia....everything suddenly tastes a little meteor

   my clothes are christian...this week in the laundry they gave up some lint for lent

   i'm an animal in the bedroom...a sloth

   roses are red, chocolate is brown, some ppl will be stuck at home looking for singles in their town

   I wonder if Chris Dorner feels like he is jason Bourne

   im not lazy...my body is just an environmentalist that likes to conserve energy

   whenver ur alone & need a hug, just remember....so does a cactus

   i've been looking for the key to happiness....apparently it isnt on my keyboard or my phone

   im gonna try to improve my life .....↑↑↓↓← →← →B A START ....no it didnt work

   vodka is made with potatoes....i have a lot of family who like "health drinks"

   youtube is red, facebook is blue, I'm so lonely with nothing to do

   i found a sexy person who I love very much.... it's a shame i'm not allowed to marry myself