love Funny Status Messages

   Cheating your wife doesn't mean that you don't love her...it's like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home...it saves tires and longer lasting beauty and reduces mileage...Send this to your wife and let me know which hospital you are in..

   Things to do.. #1 dig a hole #2 name it love #3 watch people fall in love

   Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.

   i have a man flu. I had a good run, I think this is the end for me. Tell my family I love them.

   You wake up from a coma only to realize everyone you love has abandoned you because they went through your phone while you were out.

   She said "My love life is complicated." I said "No, nuclear physics is complicated. You're just a slut."

   Before you fall in Love with a girl with sparkling eyes. Make sure It's not the sun shining through the back of her head

   Teacher: Johnny,Use the word HARASSMENT in a Sentence..... Johnny: I was in Love with a girl and...Her-ass-meant a lot to me

   love is out there, kinda like the zodiac killer is still out there too, so good luck.

   I just want to suffocate, sorry I mean love you.

   If you love something set it free because you’re intolerable and love is a prison

   "I'd love to be your widow, someday" - me flirting

   I love it when people knocks on my door. It gives me an excuse to use my guns.

   Wondering why people who are in Love would want to re-arrange the alphabets "I" and "U" to express their feelings, honestly I don't see a valid reason of doing that whatsoever

   enough already we don’t love you at your that or at your this

   You kiss the end, then seductively lick the length without breaking eye contact as you place it in your mouth. I love the way you eat bacon.

   Ever wake up, look in the mirror, and wonder why Courtney Love is in your bathroom?

   I love millennials. Their are so many parallel parking spaces they don't know how to park.

   I don't care what you say about Zombies. Zombies love you for your brain, not your beauty.

   I'm looking for a woman who'll love me for my money but is really bad at math