love Funny Status Messages

   I just want to suffocate, sorry I mean love you.

   If you love something set it free because you’re intolerable and love is a prison

   "I'd love to be your widow, someday" - me flirting

   I love it when people knocks on my door. It gives me an excuse to use my guns.

   Wondering why people who are in Love would want to re-arrange the alphabets "I" and "U" to express their feelings, honestly I don't see a valid reason of doing that whatsoever

   enough already we don’t love you at your that or at your this

   You kiss the end, then seductively lick the length without breaking eye contact as you place it in your mouth. I love the way you eat bacon.

   Ever wake up, look in the mirror, and wonder why Courtney Love is in your bathroom?

   I love millennials. Their are so many parallel parking spaces they don't know how to park.

   I don't care what you say about Zombies. Zombies love you for your brain, not your beauty.

   I'm looking for a woman who'll love me for my money but is really bad at math

   My love life is terrible. The last woman I was inside of was the statue of liberty.

   Just saw a text "I hate Ben Stein" and now I love him even more

   The only 2 things that I love and enjoy about being an adult is having sex and drinking alcohol.

   I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because I love fishing.

   Did you know that if you light a candle during a full moon and say the name of the person you love three times you will look very stupid doing that.

   Lets behonest.. Apart from "I love you" and "I miss you" which other jokes do you know? ??

   Cupid. That makes sense to me, because nothing fills me with love more than a fat baby firing arrows at my butt.

   I love Facebook like Angelina Jolie loves to fill out adoption papers

   The Patriots are going to the Super Bowl? Who doesn’t love a good overdog story?