SULLY Funny Status Messages

   Memo to New Orleans: You can't turn the Superdome into a sewer this time., emergency shelter will be at Tom Benson's house....

   HURRICANE Tip: Make certain to create a giant "X" with duct tape on all your windows to alert neighbors you are an idiot.....

   Say what you want about Lance Armstrong, but I think being the first man to walk on the Moon is an amazing achievement. They can never take that away from him...

   Lost a couple FB friends overnight. Hopefully they just died and it wasn't something I said...

   Working on my hurricane prep list. Heineken's, Cigarette's, Red Cross phone number. All done!

   I'm starting to believe that most people wouldn't be that much different if they were turned into actual zombies....

   Regardless of your views, you gotta' agree today is a bad day to be a chicken in America

   This leftist boycott of Chick FiL A is the first actual economic stimulus of the Obama era........

   Silver for Phelps : ( Someone should have taped a blunt to the other end of the pool, then he would have won the gold.

   In honor of Michael Phelps 4th place finish, I'm firing up the bong.......

   Every morning you have two choices: be productive and really shine, OR pour some coffee, log inn and start posting. Hello, darlings.

   Today I will celebrate the opening of the Olympic games with my own feat of endurance: sitting at my desk all day...

   I'm starting to get a wee bit tired of these retro ecards. I prefer reading status's in 3D, real time....

   It would be cool if Chick-Fil-A replaced the muppet toys with boy scout action figures.......

   Between James Holmes, the Penn State case, and the Penn State fans... there's just a lot of sick people in the world. Trust no one!!

   If I hear one more foreigner accusing us of having a "culture of violence" I'm gonna blow their brains out.

   The NCAA should allow Penn State to continue playing football, but their scores shouldn't be reported for 15 years.

   The cats puke looks pretty much exactly like normal cat food. I wonder if they would notice if I just put it back in their bowl?

   Thanks to '50 Shades of Grey', my wife's Kindle now smells like 50 cans of tuna.

   Watching "Hitler's Hemorrhoids" on the Military channel......