Eddy Funny Status Messages

   I have "plan B" dates....everytime I make the plans, my date wants to abort & not go through with it

   you know Jay-Z isn't OCD because he only had 99 problems....an OCD person would have an even 100 problems

   i should change my name to "period"....all the women seem to hate me

   Subway uses the slogan "eat fresh"...it makes me wonder if the other restaurants are fresh too because they don't say they are

   my opinion is brought to you by the letter "F" & the letter "U"

   i must be part zombie because i've been looking for a woman with brains

   so they asked Paula Deen if she ever said the "N" word.....i dont think she's ever used "nonfat"

   happy fathers day to all the ones who came home with the gallon of milk

   seems like they'd have an app for the smart phones & tablets where you can just write down important things for the ppl that forget stuff.....on the ipad & iphone they can call it "iforget"

   the brain controls body movement....i just picked up my drink with my hands therefore I used my mind to do it....i have magic powers

   a lot of women stick their cell phone in their bra now days....i guess that makes it an "over the shoulder phone holder"

   MAY the FOURTH be with you

   optimistic people say "nobody is perfect" ......all my haters say "he's nobody"....even my haters think i'm perfect

   do siamese twins call their colons a "semicolon"?

   if a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?

   if Bill Gates was to die & go to hell, would that make him the "Gates of Hell"?

   forget kay....every kiss begins with a semicolon :*

   if wine is the blood of christ, why make up a song asking fro jesus to take the wheel?....u just asked for a drunk driver

   as a kid my mom used to tell us kids "i dont want to hear a peep"....i just listened to the easter basket & I dont hear anything

   Luke 6:27 But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you....I got you a Carnival Cruise ticket