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... So ... I cheated on my diet for ONE day and gained fifty pounds .... WTF?
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06-15-2016 22:27
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Next time you feel like running around naked, please spray yourself with windex...it prevents streaking.
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06-15-2016 22:26
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..... Politicians ..... Proof that crime does pay! OK ... Throw in Lawyers too.
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06-15-2016 22:21
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Therapy In 4 Words: Great bourbon, fluffy kittens.
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06-15-2016 16:11
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Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
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06-15-2016 16:10
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Failed Summer Camp Slogans: Funeral Camp, You'll Dig It Here.
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06-15-2016 16:08
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Wreird AirBNB Listing: Stay for FREE in 3 room luxurous home. However if owners return unexpectedly please vacate immediately.
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06-15-2016 16:06
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Perhaps Daniel Craig's Successor as James Bond should be a disabled woman.
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06-15-2016 16:04
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Still surprised there isn't a 21st century version of the board game "Sorry" called "It's Somebody Else's Mistake".
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06-15-2016 16:02
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Trump University's Most Popular Majors: 1) Lying. 2) Cheating. 3) Stealing.
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06-15-2016 15:59
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Upside of Hell you won't have any trouble finding a lawyer or priest.
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06-15-2016 15:57
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I'm still not convinced that the lunchroom employees working on the Death Star deserved their fate.
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06-15-2016 15:55
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Inspirational Quote: Be the change you want to see in your car's ashtray.
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06-15-2016 15:51
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Paul Ryan just listed his spine for sale on Craigslist.
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06-15-2016 15:50
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Under further investigation, we discovered that crime does indeed pay.
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06-15-2016 15:49
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Sweet!!! I just found a Trump University degree inside a box of Cracker Jack.
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06-15-2016 15:47
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My wife asked me for a sonnet. Never knew she liked fancy hats.
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06-15-2016 15:45
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If Bon Jovi's farewell album isn't called Bon Voyage then what's the point?!?!
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06-15-2016 15:43
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Symptoms of a Gluten allergy are depression, trouble breathing, rash and irritability which tells me my ex must have been a soft pretzel.
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06-15-2016 15:41
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Dad Tip: Read fairytales backwards to your daughter. She'll think it's good to give up being a princess for a life of housecleaning.
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06-15-2016 15:40
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