Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon French toast is just toast that's surrendered.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't run from my problems because I am out of shape.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reports say men who post selfies show pyschopathic tendencies. While women who post selfies just wanted to show everyone their "duck face".
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...... "Barack INSANE Obama" .... Truth in advertising.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one ever questions how Mayor McCheese managed to keep his job while the citizens of his town were being eaten.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Former 3rd world countries are perfect for hipsters. So many abandoned buildings to turn into cafes.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl asked me if I wanted to go back to her place last night. She then proceeded to tell me she lived in a van with four roommates. That's New York City for yah!!!
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A more fitting name for Target would be "How The Heck Did I Spend $233.44?!?!"
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most historians agree that Marie Antoinette's first menstrual cycle was one of the greatest periods in history.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of people do not realize thats the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With so many things coming back in style, I can't wait till loyalty and morals become the new trend again.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If he wants you to be in his life, he'll put you there. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot on the couch.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Useful information. Lucky me I discovered your site by accident, and I'm shocked why this coincidence did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:29 by nike air max rosa Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm provaccine because the thought of having eight children and crossing my fingers that three make it to adulthood is so 1857.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 14:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They are driven to do what they do and no new law will stop them.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 12:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Asked to switch seats on the Plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, thats not allowed if the baby is yours.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 10:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever get a hamster I'm naming it MC Hamster. Heck, I might buy one for that reason alone.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 08:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yes. You're a free man now."
←Rate | 06-17-2016 08:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my coffee this morning taste a bit Islamic
←Rate | 06-17-2016 08:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Contrary to popular belief, changing the toilet paper roll does not cause brain damage....
←Rate | 06-17-2016 06:39 Comments (0)  




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