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I’m going to change my name to Benny Fitz…so when people add me on Facebook, it will say;..You are now friends with Benny Fitz.
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06-18-2016 08:09
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Quote of the year: If you think life is unfair, you’re not gonna be too thrilled about death.
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06-18-2016 08:08
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Ear hair is God’s way of telling you it’s time to buy a sports car.
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06-18-2016 08:06
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I don’t mind running into debt. It’s running into my creditors that’s embarrassing.
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06-18-2016 08:05
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Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
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06-18-2016 08:05
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They should make Jack Daniels chap stick.
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06-18-2016 08:05
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Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses around.
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06-18-2016 08:02
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You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
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06-18-2016 08:02
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I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
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06-18-2016 08:01
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Not now. I'm busy on ebay. Making the most of my 'me' time.
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06-18-2016 06:49
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The 'man bun'.....A hair raising trend.
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06-18-2016 06:31
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Interesting idea, Ice Cube should change his name to Soft Drink.
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06-18-2016 03:46
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Frito Lay should roll out a new cinnamon sugar version of Cheetos called Sweetos, they will also help you acquire Diabetos.
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06-18-2016 03:45
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When you're feeding pigeons, you're really feeding doves from Hell.
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06-18-2016 03:41
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The last time I had sex was when Tom Selleck was in a good movie.
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06-18-2016 03:39
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Rich People's Problems: Not remembering the names of the maid's 9 children.
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06-18-2016 03:32
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From what I've read, Jesus never had a problem with gay people. He also never wore pants.
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06-18-2016 03:29
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Worst Wedding Processional Song: Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats"
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06-18-2016 03:17
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There's a time and place for hipster beards. That time is the Civil War and that place is a stockade in a Confederate camp.
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06-18-2016 03:13
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Don't think I should wear my heart on my sleeve anymore....because that's usually where I sneeze and wipe my nose.
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06-18-2016 03:10
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