Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   BREAKING: FBI finds John Wilkes Booth "extremely careless" in discharge of firearm.

   .... The Manchurian Candidates that have been offered under the Liberal banner are the Useful Idiots that Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin spoke of to overthrow their opponents.

   Once a Clinton, always a liar.

   HA she didn't have "intent to obstruct?"...When ordered to hand over ALL e-mails SHE deleted thousands of work emails, lied under oath saying she did handed over ALL e-mails, LIED when saying none were classified Then FBI states thy found HUNDREDS of them

   Dear Hillary Clinton: Unlike Liberal Democrats ..... Being Inept and Absolutely Flippant and Negligent with secure US secrets and total disregard for Security Protocol are not exactly the best qualifications that I am looking for in a President.

   "Too big to fail"...."Too big to jail"... same thing

   I'm gonna party this weekend like its THE PURGE

   If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

   I was just informed that The Purge: Independence Day is just a movie. Does anyone know a good defense attorney?

   The Duty of a true Patriot is to protect his country from it's government.

   FUN FACT: Hillary Spent More Time Taking Questions from FBI Than She Did from Reporters This Year

   Suddenly wishing that I hadn't purchased the alien abduction insurance plan with a high deductible for all my camping trips this summer.

   1776: No Taxation Without Representation!!! 2016: No Commenting Without Liking!!!

   Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.

   Just tried natural peanut butter. My week is off to a horrible start.

   Step One: Always have a solid alibi.

   You are less likely to kill your family during a long car trip if you are playing Travel BINGO.

   Instagram is good for showing highlights from your day, but Snapchat brings to life all those boring, in-between moments no one cares about.

   How's my day going? I just watched a fastest fish fillet competition video and had a rooting interest for one of the participants.

   I'm awesome cuz I can do 50 push-ups. Granted not at once and over 57 days.