Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   All Lives including Blue Lives Matter

   Back in my day we had Presidential Candidates that acually believed in the Constitution. Nowadays they can't even spell the freakin' word.

   Well .... Apparently a few Community Organizers got a bit out of hand in Dallas .....

   America is no longer a nation that believes in the "Rule of Law" ..... We have now descended into a nation of "Mob Justice" .... God help us all ...

   Just found out all of the Nuclear Launch Codes are now available on itunes ..... Thanx Hillary!

   Apparently splicing teflon into the genetic genome of humans really works!!! Just ask Hillary!

   We didn't have presidential candidates like this back when people could smoke at their desks.

   President #42 was proven to be a Liar when he lied under Oath. President #45 who just happens to be the wife ofPresident #42 ..... Will be entering office as a Known and proven Liar Apparently people don't consider lying as a character flaw anymore.

   I just ordered all new cookware made from Hillary Clinton stem cells.....NOTHING sticks to it.....

   Delete Hillary

   Would these Hillary supporters just drop dead already?

   Lebron went home, Wade went home..what y'all Cubans waiting on?

   When blakcs stop shooting each other by the thousands, I'll start worrying about the cops shooting two.

   Sometimes I'm happy, then mad, then hungry and then chatty. So yes, I get it women. Great, now I'm crying.

   Hey Trump: As a guy who owns a bunch of casinos, maybe you're not the right person to tell us how certain things are "rigged."

   People should be indicted for putting raisins and walnuts in coleslaw.

   Sorry Jupiter, unless Matt Damon gets stranded on you, nobody actually cares about your planet.

   So we wear the hazmat suit while watching the Rio Olympics correct?!?!

   Apple pushing organ donor registration for iPhone users. How?!?! Siri asks over and over, "You know you only really need ONE kidney."

   The Kardashians have screwed more celebrities than a camera with no filter.