Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Still trying to figure out how they can all afford to buy guns and bullets while on Food Stamps.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 18:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...... POKEMON GO!!!!!!! No Seriously ....... POKEMON GO!!! The world does not need any more Pokemon!
←Rate | 07-10-2016 18:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady, I hope this doesn't surprise you but I am pretty sure your boobs go inside your shirt.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 18:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well if we really are what we eat ... apparently I am fast cheap and easy.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 18:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK, You're telling me you're not a slut ..... So ... Does that mean you are some kind of volunteer prostitute or something?
←Rate | 07-10-2016 17:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Republicans didn't insist on upholding their "Proud Tradition of Failure to do their JOB" ... Perhaps this country wouldn't be in such a sad state of affairs. They were elected to do one thing then proceeded to do another ..... SHEESH
←Rate | 07-10-2016 17:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes it is true that women give us solace, But if it were not for women we would never need solace.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 17:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tip for Pokemon Go players. I just left a Squirtle and a Blastoise in the mall bathroom.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nintendo has gotten more kids off the couch in 2 days than Michelle Obama has in 8 years.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 11:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accidentally got my blow up doll pregnant. Related: I've got some balloons for sale.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 11:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The FIRST Rule of Marriage Club is .... She's ALWAYS Right.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 11:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not worried about Werewolves, Vampires, Zombies or Haunted Hotels .... I'm worried about what real Human Beings will do to other Human Beings.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 11:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon obviously I'm against a baby fight club on a moral basis but in terms of humor... it's pure gold
←Rate | 07-10-2016 06:41 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you hitchhike make sure to use your thumb correctly or people might think you're just congratulating them on their excellent driving
←Rate | 07-10-2016 06:33 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah, my youth: We sang praises to our processed meat products. Bologna had a first name. We all wished to be wieners. It was a gentler age.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 06:31 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may not be the brightest crayon in the tool shed but at least I'm great at analogies.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 06:25 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way a dog that doesn't play fetch looks at a thrown ball—that's how I feel about everything.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 06:20 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon CarefreeBlackKids2k16 offers both heated arguments with friends and figuring out how the dog filter works on Snapchat. Great way to unite America!
←Rate | 07-10-2016 05:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My desire to be well-informed during this presidential election is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 05:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your credit history may be a determining factor when applying for a loan or to be a future Trump supporter.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 05:42 Comments (0)  




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