Funny Status Messages

   I just met Melania two speech writers... Mr. Copy and Mrs.Paste.

   In Melania's defence, in her country it is considered a compliment to plagiarize a speech from the previous First Lady.

   Pikachu? Come to my backyard and get a Glockatchu!

   Hey africans, we know yous dont have legal vehicles or jobs to go to but please refrain from dancing in the road and blocking traffic

   FOX Interviewer: Your wife is absolutely stunning for 46 Trump: SHE'S 46??*immediately suspends presidential campaign & logs onto Tinder*

   Planet Earth or as other worlds like to call it, The Planet of Idiots.

   Knew something was up when Melania Trump started talking about the challenges of raising two daughters, Sasha and Malia.

   I hear tomorrow, Trump is going to plagiarize the Gettysburg address.

   On a deteriorative scale, my liver is somewhere between Ozzy Osbourne and Charlie Sheen.

   It’s easier to come out of the closet than it is to say you like Trump.

   Remember that one time when Kanye West made a song dissing gold diggers? Then turned around and married the biggest gold digger in the country?

   I'd give five bucks to hear Melania say, "Moose and Squirrel"...

   Just seeing Trumps come out to, "We are the Champions" was good enough for me to make a decision.

   Life is good .... the alternative is not.

   Speakers tomorrow night at the GOP Convention include Erin Moran, Burt Ward from "Batman" and the dude that played Urkel. ‪#‎starpower‬

   The more I see of the people against Trump,the more I'm convinced to vote for him .

   Why can't we drop all the hyphens and just be Americans?

   I miss the days when the scariest thing on TV was "The Twilight Zone" and not "The Nightly News."

   Pokemon Go is now more popular than Tinder another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area.

   Hey ... Even Duct Tape can't fix Stupid ..... But at it can muffle the sound.