Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1225 of 6446

The Rick Springfield Paradox: If you get Jessie's Girl, she is no longer Jessie's Girl, and you have obtained nothing.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 05:45
Comments (0)

Somebody please introduce these Anonymous Hacktivists to PokemonGo, might get them out of the house for a bit.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 03:53
Comments (1)

Why dont they serve hotdogs at a gay picnic. because they taste like shiiit
←Rate |
07-16-2016 01:58 by curly
Comments (0)

"It's so nice to see you finally working together," I tell my kids as they overthrow me.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 01:00
Comments (0)

Forget a wall, we should just put caution tape around the borders of America.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:57
Comments (0)

Just when you think the world’s gone crazy you find out Mick Jagger knocked up his 29-year-old girlfriend and everything makes sense again.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:55
Comments (0)

Aladdin is my favorite story about how anything is possible if you find a magical genie that grants wishes.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:54
Comments (0)

You're part of the problem if you post a click bait article on Facebook and don't give the ending forcing me to have to click it.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:52
Comments (0)

I'm self-employed and I can't believe my boss touches me inappropriately so often.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:50
Comments (0)

Always wonder how many drug users have heated heroin in the spoon I'm about to use to eat my cereal, in this motel room.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:48
Comments (0)

Picture a gang of criminals scanning an area for Pokemon before deciding to dump a body.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:46
Comments (0)

I went to to gym today. Next week I'm going to get out of my car....
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:44
Comments (0)

Does anyone else think "Master of Fine Arts" sounds sarcastic?
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:43
Comments (0)

Donald Trump formally announces Mike Pence as is VP pick. No word yet on if he plans on leaving him for a younger, prettier running mate.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:42
Comments (0)

BREAKING: Chris Christie endorses Hillary Clinton.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:40
Comments (0)

Darwin would praise Pokemon Go for weeding out the weak links.
←Rate |
07-16-2016 00:39
Comments (0)

Hoping people are not gonna play Pokemon Go during the Summer Olympics games in Rio... looking for Zikaachu..
←Rate |
07-15-2016 23:51
Comments (1)

If you don't think that time traveling is possible,, just start an argument with your wife.
←Rate |
07-15-2016 20:50 by Snotty
Comments (0)

What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill difficult to break in half?
←Rate |
07-15-2016 19:56 by Snotty
Comments (0)

"Hit em with the Hein!!"
←Rate |
07-15-2016 19:23
Comments (0)