Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I don't understand why they called it "WebMD" when they could have called it "Sickipedia."
←Rate | 07-24-2016 07:34 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time doesn't exist. It's an exclusive construct derived from the primitive human mind. - I tell myself as I set my alarm for 5am
←Rate | 07-24-2016 07:34 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..... Heck ..... I was really surprised to see Barack Obama Cracking a joke while talking about the latest Terror Attack in Munich ..... But ... Then again ... It was Obama so maybe not ....
←Rate | 07-24-2016 01:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your choice ever gets down between a "Liar" and an "Orangutan" .... You should know that even an Orangutan can be controlled ..... but a Liar .... Will.... ALWAYS ... deceive......
←Rate | 07-24-2016 01:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear ... Hillary .... We know you ...... That is why we can't .... and shouldn't .... support you ....
←Rate | 07-24-2016 01:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it comes time to vote and your only choice is between a liar and an orangutan
←Rate | 07-24-2016 00:57 by Teri Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm known all over the world for my exaggerations.
←Rate | 07-24-2016 00:23 by floating rock Comments (0)  


   messageicon The local car wash had a special "Brazilian Wax", now my car's carpet is gone....
←Rate | 07-23-2016 22:44 by dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille
←Rate | 07-23-2016 21:40 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon i know I'm fat cause every time I pass a buffet my phone joins its wifi network
←Rate | 07-23-2016 16:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Grand Thaft Auto Go, New mission steal that car and kill everyone. Available Soon
←Rate | 07-23-2016 13:46 by Det313 Comments (0)  


   messageicon United we stand divided we fall
←Rate | 07-22-2016 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Un-United States of America.....
←Rate | 07-22-2016 21:41 by Platt ave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is cool because he doesn't play by the rules, and says what he wants. Cruz is shunned because he didn't play by the rules, and he said what he wants?
←Rate | 07-22-2016 21:13 by L.Shepherd. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Isn't it curious how almost all of the Networks slammed the evil Republican Convention all this week. Prediction: They will almost all have an ecstatic and excited thrill running up and down their collective legs during the Democrat convention.
←Rate | 07-22-2016 19:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think an eye doctor should run for president in 2020 with the slogan "a perfect vision"
←Rate | 07-22-2016 18:07 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon .... If the wrong toy is inside of it .... Is it still called a Happy Meal?
←Rate | 07-22-2016 16:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wore a bow tie today and got pinched by three guys on my way to work. I guess what they say about bow ties are true.
←Rate | 07-22-2016 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can we stop calling it medical marijuana and go back to just calling it marijuana yet?
←Rate | 07-22-2016 14:06 by Bo Comments (0)  


   messageicon are most of these anti trump people on welfare?
←Rate | 07-22-2016 13:45 Comments (0)  




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