Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
6447
Next»
Page: 120 of 6447
Oh, you want a free college education? Please tell me how serious you took your free high school education.
818
1121
←Rate |
03-02-2023 06:06 by
GaryKoenig
Comments (
0
)
I just want to be rich enough to hire someone whose job is to intercept callers and visitors and say, “he’s in no condition to see anyone right now”
856
1164
←Rate |
03-02-2023 05:52
Comments (
0
)
This would look ALOT better in the toilet” -toddlers
855
1172
←Rate |
03-02-2023 05:52
Comments (
0
)
ell your wife her butt looks big in those jeans. Live a little.. Life is too short!
854
1177
←Rate |
03-02-2023 05:52
Comments (
0
)
Now that "Cocaine Bear" has been a hit and they are working on "Meth Alligator." I can't wait for the next installment, "Marijuana Sloth." A 7 hour slow-paced movie about a vicious Bradypus with the munchies for murder.
1582
1622
←Rate |
03-01-2023 17:11
Comments (
0
)
With the way 2023 has been going I couldn't decide if wanted to sit outside to watch the meteorite shower or take cover.
8
238
←Rate |
03-01-2023 16:11
Comments (
0
)
My "Kiss me, I'm Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog
7
241
←Rate |
03-01-2023 16:10
Comments (
0
)
I got a job at Comcast and completed training so I could fix my own cable because it was faster than being on hold with customer service.
7
243
←Rate |
03-01-2023 16:09
Comments (
0
)
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
7
248
←Rate |
03-01-2023 16:07
Comments (
0
)
Chocolate is a vegetable due to these reasons. Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is processed from cocoa beans, and beans are vegetables.
9
247
←Rate |
03-01-2023 06:01 by
GaryKoenig
Comments (
0
)
What idiot called it a successful vasectomy and not getting out of the gene pool
9
239
←Rate |
03-01-2023 04:54
Comments (
0
)
It's tax time. Every time we drive up to our new tax guy's office, he says the same thing. "You two weren't tailed, were you?"
9
242
←Rate |
03-01-2023 04:28
Comments (
0
)
Bike week is near. Vrooom.
2
246
←Rate |
02-28-2023 21:37
Comments (
0
)
I sprung into action when a coworker was choking during lunch. I moved him into the next room, so I could eat in peace and quiet
16
249
←Rate |
02-28-2023 12:15
Comments (
0
)
If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they’ll fill your antidepressants faster.
68
161
←Rate |
02-28-2023 08:44
Comments (
0
)
The worst thing about being a vegan farmer is having to wake up every morning and go milk the almonds.
70
144
←Rate |
02-28-2023 07:24
Comments (
0
)
So I think I came up with a new kind of coffee. I call it the mayo latte. A regular latte with a touch of mayonnaise in it.
69
152
←Rate |
02-28-2023 05:57 by
GaryKoenig
Comments (
0
)
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
70
152
←Rate |
02-28-2023 05:34
Comments (
0
)
I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.
71
153
←Rate |
02-28-2023 05:34
Comments (
0
)
You know you're getting older when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
57
157
←Rate |
02-28-2023 05:34
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
6447
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com