goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   “A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.”

   it takes six licks to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop! (with a slight crunch)

   so really..what was Meatloaf talking about when he sang he'll do anything for love, but he wont do that?

   Funny fat guy fall on face! -The Hangover

   You know I'm a Duke boys fan..but how is it Luke always knows short cuts that Bo doesn't? They're always in the car together!!

   Wow..Thought I just seen a cool bass boat next to me, turns out to be a 64 Impala!

   pretending he is driving on a dirt road in Hazzard county..Yee-Hawww!

   Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.

   The 1960's were when hallucinogenic drugs were really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the shows then like The Flying Nun.

   California is a nice place to live - if you happen to be an Orange.

   Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

   My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

   I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

   Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

   I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

   Life before the computer punchline(see above 3): And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy...you hoped nobody found out.

   Why is it that I have to recite the entire alphabet to remember where one letter is?

   A bad Walmart greeting just ruins the whole experience.

   Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A

   Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?