Eddy Funny Status Messages

   my valentine is Manti Te'o's old girlfriend....forever alone

   Single Awareness Day....this is going to be a S.A.D. day

   I wont be alone on valentines day....I'll be spending it with 127.0.0.1

   these neighbors shooting their guns off, you'd think a lot of people just died in The Hunger Games cause the gun sounds kinda like the cannon sound in the movie

   since New Years is on a hump day (Wednesday) maybe this will be the year I get a lo of humping

   new way for a woman to get even with her ex....take his credit card & go on a shopping spree at target

   if anyone is still shopping for Christmas gifts, this week is "procrastinator's week"

   how are OCD ppl made? a German person gets with a British person to make a baby so the baby is "Germish"

   while fixing the big Thanksgiving dinner remember to cook with wine like all the fancy tv chefs say....you'll be too drunk to realize what the family is saying or doing

   the last time I visitied a gym I was being graded on it

   sometimes I think love is like bigfoot......other people claim they have seen it & experienced it but I don't think I ever will

   i wonder if the Pillsbury Doughboy has a Facebook account &when his friends "poke" him he makes the little noise like in the commercials

   the government is like my computer....there might just be a problem when it shuts down

   if your neighbors call the police on you for playing loud music, just tell the cop "you can dance if you want to or you can leave your friend behind..."

   in England, "pounds" are money....im not fat, I'm rich

   i find it ironic that in "the smurfs 2" the stepdad explains to Neil Patrick Harris' character how he met his mother

   does anyone else find it ironic that when the royal baby was born the doctor said "it's crowning"

   forget a silver spoon...this kid will get a golden spoon & become a spoiled brat like the rest of the royal family

   ever wonder if the mcDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?

   take Johnnie cochran to Florida with you & you could really do anything then.