Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Rachel Dolezal celebrated Canada Day by announcing she's a Canadian.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just realized the definition of the word "word" is made up of many words and now I have a headache.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Favorite all-time Disney snuff film is "Frying Dory."
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon America: Diet coke, large pizzas.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't lose a finger or two this weekend can you really even call yourself an American.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone goes to a house without a dog or WiFi, should you wonder how many people are buried in their yard?
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The day a black NFL player gets shot by a cop, ruining Paul Ryan's fantasy football team, will be the day the GOP addresses police brutality.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon GOP Convention Speakers: 1) Donald Trump's kids. 2) Donald Trump's wife. 3) Donald Trump's grandma. 4) Donald Trump's barber.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Trump and Hillary are stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean, who survives? America. America survives.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 14:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's called "Independence Day" not "Dependence Day" for a reason
←Rate | 07-02-2016 12:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you own a body shop and it's not called "Auto Correct", then what's the point?
←Rate | 07-02-2016 07:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shocked by the 16% approval rating of congress held by Americans in June 2016. That can't be right. Who are these psychos in the 16 percent?
←Rate | 07-02-2016 07:29 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon HEY, To EVERYBODY celebrating Independence Day, None of us want independence, We just want to be taken care of!!! .... We are .... The Baby Nation!!!! ..... Join Us!!! .... BTW .... We are also known as the Democrats.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 02:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Heck .... If we return EVERYTHING to it's original State ..... Then NOTHING .... Shall ever Improve" ......( future man )
←Rate | 07-02-2016 02:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys with no beard must also help with breastfeeding the baby.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 01:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do our elected officials even know what their Job Description is? I'm pretty sure it doesn't include ignoring and trashing the Constitution!
←Rate | 07-01-2016 22:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all of the Canadians celebrating Canada Day in America this weekend ..... Your Welcome.
←Rate | 07-01-2016 22:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Pentagon now allows Transgenders to serve in the military and get free sex changes ..... Heck .... Apparently you really can be All you can be!
←Rate | 07-01-2016 19:36 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Hit my head on a flag pole ... now I'm seeing Stars and Stripes ....
←Rate | 07-01-2016 19:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Make America a Constitutional Republic Again.
←Rate | 07-01-2016 19:07 Comments (0)  




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