Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1168 of 6383
This is not how to one chooses the most important person of the country. With a knot in the throat that wouldn't go down. It's always a fight to chose the lesser evil. Why can't it be the other way
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07-13-2016 20:49
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I just ran over a Pikachu and a Primeape with my car. Now I think Officer Jenny is after me.
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07-13-2016 20:45
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I'm beginning to think Donald Trump is considering gathering all of his Vice Presidential candidates together in a secret place and have them fight to the death to prove their loyalty?
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07-13-2016 19:18
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In order to help her inner city supporters Hillary is urging President Obama to sign an executive order replacing the word "Looting" with the words "Undocumented Shopping."
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07-13-2016 19:01
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The mantra of every politician is: Promise Everything, Deliver Nothing, Blame Someone Else. HECK ..... No wonder America is in turmoil ... We rarely vote in leaders .... Just a bunch of Con-Artists to run the Nation.
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07-13-2016 18:55
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If you don't know who George Soros is, or who Saul Alinsky was and what Cloward-Piven means, Do America a favor and either educate yourself or DO NOT Vote.
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07-13-2016 18:48
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Hey Bernie supporters, Trump will get you a better job while Hillary will only raise your taxes.
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07-13-2016 18:23
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My wife just put the kids to bed, now it's time to play Pokemom....
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07-13-2016 17:04
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She blinded me with science... well, Sulfuric Acid to be more precise.
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07-13-2016 15:10
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I thought there'd be more sex during my sexual prime.
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07-13-2016 14:44 by Baddie
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I'm trying to locate a girl from high school. You know, the one who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue.
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07-13-2016 14:27 by Fazzella
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Local Japanese-American cultural center begins charging $28 admission when Rare Holographic Mewtwo found in WWII exhibit...
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07-13-2016 13:45
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I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn't work here.
If HRC is elected as President, they will rename "Air Force One" to "Broomstick One."
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07-13-2016 12:43
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My friend asked me if I'd ever be ready to go to a nudist colony. "Mate... I was born ready".
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07-13-2016 12:15
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Anyone know what happens when you mix up your recipes with your receipts? No? Well I'm not going into too much detail but I just ate my f@ck!ng work boots. . .
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07-13-2016 11:52
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.... Bernie endorsed Hillary! #FeelTheTurn
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07-13-2016 11:05
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Problem with voting for Trump is that you don't know what you're going to get. Problem with Hillary is that you do.
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07-13-2016 10:59
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When Attorney General Loretta Lynch was testifying in court about her secret meeting with Hillary's husband, I was struck by the irony of the fact that she was appointed Attorney General to arrest people like Loretta Lynch.
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07-13-2016 10:48
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Pokemon Lives Matter
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07-13-2016 10:37 by Fazzella
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