Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1161 of 6446

Rarely do I go a full day without attempting a Russian accent.
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09-01-2016 15:57
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I know Fall is getting close because the squirrels are wearing Uggs and demanding pumpkin spice lattes.
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09-01-2016 15:56
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Tonight, on a very special episode of Friends, a black guy gets on screen somehow....
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09-01-2016 15:54
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"Cheesecake solves all problems." ~ Golden Girls 3:16
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09-01-2016 15:53
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Love how Disney movies teach you that you can be anyone you want, as long as it's a princess.
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09-01-2016 15:51
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Never trusted Cinderella because in a world of fairy tales, who uses a broom to clean? She should have used it to fly far far away.
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09-01-2016 15:50
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I'm not judgemental until you call Led Zeppelin old.
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09-01-2016 15:48
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We can’t correct your catastrophic ignorance of The Rockford Files in one sitting. Let’s schedule another session.
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09-01-2016 15:48
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Again Mr Jovi, Please stop mailing us bible verses. You cannot continue living on a prayer. We require an actual mortgage payment.
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09-01-2016 15:47
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I'm just looking for anything that gets me as excited as 10-year-old me when Fonzie made a surprise appearance on Laverne & Shirley.
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09-01-2016 15:46
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I missed the MTV music awards! Who won best music video that MTV will never play?
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09-01-2016 15:44
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You search and search for that nostalgic early 90's reference and then finally whoomp there it is.
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09-01-2016 15:43
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Cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon, Little boy blue and the man in the moon, When you coming home, Son?!?! When you stop talking crazy, Dad.
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09-01-2016 15:42
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Happy 10th birthday to your dating profile pic.
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09-01-2016 15:41
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My dentist said I need a crown I was like I know, right?
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09-01-2016 11:19
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Melania's upset. Several news outlets called her a 'former escort'. because the word 'former' implies that she isn't one anymore.
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09-01-2016 10:37
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I was just brushing my teeth and putting on deodorant when out of nowhere I hear "you're gonna have to pay for that"............this walmart sucks!
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09-01-2016 10:04
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Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus.
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09-01-2016 08:56 by SEAN
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Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills? Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....
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09-01-2016 08:53 by SEAN
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Some lady on The Price is Right just won a brand new 2016 Epi-Pen.
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09-01-2016 08:49 by SEAN
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