Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Donald Trump says he didn't discuss Mexico paying for the wall with President Nieto because he thought he was the janitor.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Trump wins, I'm going to open a florist shop near the Mexican border. And yes, I will call the shop "Wallflowers."
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing worse than Penn State honoring Joe Paterno before the Temple game would be if Temple honored Bill Cosby.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes Jesus counts unlimited breadsticks, as one of His miracles.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I clicked on a link and it said "Attachment Unavailable". That's dating in a nutshell.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always spike my coffee from a hidden flask that contains more coffee.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most Mexicans affectionately refer to Donald Trump as "El Piñata."
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people don't realize the phrase "I could eat a horse" came from Dolph Lundgren after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We need to talk about your son. The only questions he got correct on the test were about the Kardashians." -Middle/High school teachers everywhere
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those credit card companies are pretty tricky hiding the security code on the back of the card.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Notes From The Teacher: Please have little Johnny practice the phrase, "Paper or plastic?"
←Rate | 09-02-2016 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we all pretend to not see or hear Donald Trump, I bet he'd just go away. After all, his narcissism is based on attention.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 13:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Call me crazy, but I'd rather see a taco truck on every corner than an anti-choice bigot on every Supreme Court seat.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 13:18 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Threatening Americans by saying there'll be "a taco truck on every corner" is like threatening The Kardashians' with more magazine covers.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 13:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've reached that age where scratching my b@lls has become both an art and a science. Actually, it's a finely tuned combination of both a taffy pull and a game of hot potato.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 11:40 by Big Tate Comments (0)  


   messageicon FOX News has the most embarrasing moments on TV EVER! Every time you think they're done embarresing themselves - WOW!
←Rate | 09-02-2016 10:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember yesterday was September.... So,, Only three more months of summer
←Rate | 09-02-2016 10:37 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm OK with the French beach laws,, but the KKK shouldn't be allowed to wear their burkas either... *Ya know,, fairness
←Rate | 09-02-2016 10:35 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My hobbies include but are not limited to, being difficult for no reason & not responding to texts.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 09:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heyyyy Chill out. Were NOT building a wall... Just kidding D-Bagz , of course we are.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 09:12 Comments (0)  




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