Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   What part of "billionaire playboy" don't you understand?

   I am still voting for Trump!!!!!

   The Orange man sure has a knack for sabotaging himself.

   Trump groped a woman 10 years ago and the mainstream media blows a gasket. Hillary had 10 people killed and the mainstream media ignores it.

   Russia lodged a formal complaint with the United Nations over a U.N. official's condemnations of Trump. Proof that Trump is Putin's puppet.

   Worst. Apology. Ever.

   Don't worry about Trump, his supporters will still vote for him if he killed a baby in broad daylight with witnesses watching. So what The Donald loves to grope women?!?!

   I'm pretty sure I just heard the lady on the Clorox commercial tell me I can use their product to clean up a murder.

   The best thing about spotify, is that I can see who I could actually ride in a car with and not want to strangle before we ever go anywhere.

   the bad news for The Donald is that p#ssy is one of the few things that sticks to teflon

   If anyone ever asks you what would Jesus do? Remind them that flipping over tables and chasing them with a whip is within the realms of possibilities...Matthew 21:12 :)

   No one respects women more than DT, because if they don't respect him he will grab them by the p@ssy."

   Shouldn't we be protesting hurricane Matthew?...tree lives matter.

   I will start to worry when there are mime sightings in my neighborhood.

   Just heard a character say "There are no do-overs" on a show about time travel. That's the whole point of time travel!

   Kim Kardashian was robbed again in Paris because they needed re-shoots for her show.

   Geologists say the California earthquake will most likely happen this weekend due to earthquakes being too busy during the week.

   The majority of people who are outraged about Benghazi can't even find Libya on a map. Or knew that Benghazi is in Libya til they read this.

   Meteorologists advising people in path of hurricane to tie down things that can be picked up by winds, i.e. stray dogs, hookers, and vagabonds.

   Causes of childhood anxiety: 4% Bullying, 9% Inability to puncture a Capri Sun pouch, 87% Musical Chairs.