Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
1129
1130
1131
1132
1133
1134
1135
1136
6446
Next»
Page: 1133 of 6446
If a few years ago I'd have told a therapist I was having dreams that this election was happening I would've gotten some really good drugs.
4
2
←Rate |
10-02-2016 16:22
Comments (
0
)
Assume that anyone who is undecided at this point is trying to choose between Hillary and suicide.
4
15
←Rate |
10-02-2016 16:21
Comments (
0
)
One really positive thing about 2016 is that it has to end.
2
1
←Rate |
10-02-2016 16:20
Comments (
0
)
Stop blaming Millennials. This election has clearly proven that people of all generations are awful.
9
7
←Rate |
10-02-2016 16:19
Comments (
0
)
Watching documentaries on Netflix has actually taught me that there's no time to chill. Crazy stuff is going on out there.
2
2
←Rate |
10-02-2016 16:18
Comments (
0
)
I miss the '70s. The music. The clothes. The fact that I wasn't born yet.
4
2
←Rate |
10-02-2016 16:17
Comments (
0
)
A couple kisses and gropes in public and nobody bats an eye but let a mother breastfeed in public and all hell breaks loose. How did we get to this as a society?
11
5
←Rate |
10-02-2016 06:29
Comments (
0
)
If there is a god out there, it is his duty and responsibility to prove his existence to me. It's not a fellow human being's job.
15
21
←Rate |
10-02-2016 05:06
Comments (
3
)
Turns out the plastic bag they put in your ice bucket at a hotel isn't for to-go bacon from the breakfast buffet.
15
3
←Rate |
10-02-2016 05:01
Comments (
0
)
Visiting my parents today. So, ask me anything about local news.
5
3
←Rate |
10-02-2016 05:00
Comments (
0
)
One fun thing about parenthood is being woken up at 5:30 AM on Saturday to discuss Halloween costumes with a 4 year old.
6
3
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:58
Comments (
0
)
No one wants to watch your Facebook live video from your crappy seats at a football game.
9
3
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:56
Comments (
0
)
I crash my bike every time I ride it to the pharmacy to pick up pain meds I need for all the injuries from my crashes. It's a vicious cycle.
5
5
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:55
Comments (
0
)
One time I used essential oils and after 7-10 days my cold was gone, it was incredible.
6
4
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:54
Comments (
0
)
The year is 2027. Thousands of missing women are unable to be found because they look nothing like the pictures they post on the Internet.
5
3
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:53
Comments (
0
)
Bad news guys, candy corn doesn't count as a vegetable because technically corn is a grain.
4
3
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:52
Comments (
0
)
Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.
5
4
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:51
Comments (
0
)
Wearing a football jersey to Buffalo Wild Wings is dad cosplay.
4
2
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:50
Comments (
0
)
I'd rather lose the game than get Gatorade dumped on me.
3
3
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:48
Comments (
0
)
The best part of fall is dropping the gardening charade.
2
3
←Rate |
10-02-2016 04:47
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
1129
1130
1131
1132
1133
1134
1135
1136
6446
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com