Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon If loving the mole people and helping them enslave humanity is wrong I don't wanna be right.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 00:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm at a club and the DJ says "Raise the Roof!" I'm always like "no thanks!" I came here to dance not to do carpentry.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 00:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of using someone's name for hurricanes, we should use safe identifiers, like Hurricane Apteryx, Calculus, Oatmeal, or Centipede.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 00:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You made me think of "Hotel California," prepare to die.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 00:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bouncing happily through life on a pogo stick made of delusion.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the 16th century guys named Gaylord were the toughest son's of b**ches around.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good luck listening to 80's music without imagining my silhouette doing karate poses.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 00:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was a creepy clown before it was wrong and considered illegal.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK .... Since the latest Leaks and emails surfacing are proving the facts to be true ..... Perhaps it's time to watch the movie "Clinton Cash" on YooToob to see what kind of person you are really voting for.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 00:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump: Don't judge me on the man I was 10 years ago. But please judge Hillary on the man her husband was 20 years ago.
←Rate | 10-11-2016 23:55 Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's pretty clear now, if it wasn't already, Trump is just a schill to ensure Hillary wins.... This is 'democracy' in action....
←Rate | 10-11-2016 23:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, it's just like some clowns to give Ronald McDonald a bad rap running around all creepy like. . .
←Rate | 10-11-2016 21:38 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is our 9 years anniversary here. Keep em coming folks
←Rate | 10-11-2016 19:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... So .... According to his newly available 2013 tax return .... Trump paid only $40,000,000 in Federal taxes in 2013 ... A stark contrast to the $0.00 that the fake Propagandist News Media forces you to believe he paid.
←Rate | 10-11-2016 17:56 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I had a late nite knock (rather hard) on the front door....Before I knew it I was flushing items down the commode.....On a side note....if you flush skittles it looks like a overhead view of NASCAR at Bristol..
←Rate | 10-11-2016 15:29 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got offered a great deal from Vodafone. A new Samsung phone and a free fire extinguisher.
←Rate | 10-11-2016 13:08 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently you will need a firearm license before purchasing the Note 7 replacement
←Rate | 10-11-2016 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boss makes a dollar, while I make a dime. That's why I poop, on company time.
←Rate | 10-11-2016 00:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Hillary were President, she would be all, I am sorry, I am not sorry, I am sorry, I am not sorry, I am sorry, I am not sorry, What the hell, I am PMS'n leave me the f#ck alone. . .
←Rate | 10-10-2016 23:27 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meanwhile the Kardashians are busy corrupting our young girls more than Trump and the Clintons put together. We need to take back some moral code in this country before it's too late...
←Rate | 10-10-2016 23:24 Comments (0)  




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