Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Just ordered "coffee" off the Starbucks secret menu.

   Just sprayed "Sheer White Cotton" air freshener in the bathroom. Now, it smells like sheet.

   1) You'll get mauled. 2) You'll get gored. 3) You'll get eaten. The “reasons” why you can’t have a bear, a bison, or a wolf.

   Hey Moms and Dads! Here's a fun game to play: When your kid gets home from school, be lying on the floor screaming in pain, "YOU STEPPED ON A CRACK!"

   I put the 'sexy' in Dyslexic.

   Guarantees in life: 1) Death. 2) A restaurant server will ask how everything is while your mouth is full but never be around when you need a refill.

   Did you know that some tickle fights result in someone peeing their pants and someone's corpse being dumped in a ditch.

   Doesn't matter who the public votes for president, it's up to the electoral college! get over it people

   Wheelchair, the adult's version of a stroller

   Hillary says she takes national security very serious. So how the hell did wikileaks get those classified emails then?

   I wish most of you SOBs would go find a political blog somewhere else to post your do-do

   Let's see ...... Trump or Hillary .... After plenty of thought ..... I'm still voting for Pedro ..... After all .... He promises that all of my wildest dreams will come true!!!

   America will NEVER be great again, regardless of who wins, NEVER, period! Nothing will change same old caca, and you all know it. So chill!

   So let me get this straight, Wanting America to be Great again is considered Treason by some, But selling out your Government for cash and Compromising National Security Isn't? What am I missing here?

   Gee-Whiz ... I have heard worse words coming out the mouths of Rappers that party at the Whitehouse.

   I'm sorry, but I just don't understand this support of Crony Capitalism, growing Governmental Corruption and selling out this nations sovereignty to the new Globalist Governmental System. Am I missing something here?

   come on folks.... bring on the funnies

   So let me get this straight, Not releasing a 20,000 page tax return and saying questionable words .... Is more of a Threat to America than Being corrupt, Compromising National Security, And taking bribes from foreign powers.

   Honk if you Love Trump. Drive into a Tree if you Love Hillary.

   You know we haven't seen in all of Hillary's emails? Anything detailing how to make America great again! Hmm