hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you're at a party and people start chanting your name, you're obligated to do anything they want you to do
←Rate | 09-08-2012 07:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the kind of day where I shouldn't leave the house unless I have Yoshi and like three extra lives.
←Rate | 09-08-2012 07:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I'm saying is: If you're already gonna be late for work you might as well walk into the office tangled up in a hammock.
←Rate | 09-02-2012 06:08 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
←Rate | 09-02-2012 06:08 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If more people knew what guys did with socks they'd stop giving them to their dad as gifts.
←Rate | 09-02-2012 06:07 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never really forgive the friend who tricked you into watching "2 Girls 1 Cup".
←Rate | 09-02-2012 06:06 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my employee handbook I am only required to show up sober. There is nothing saying I can't start drinking once I get here...take that HR lady
←Rate | 09-01-2012 14:33 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl told me today "a lot of guys want me" I told her " that doesn't surprise me, keep in mind honey that cheap things usually attract many customers"
←Rate | 09-01-2012 14:33 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was just brushing my teeth and putting on deodorant when out of nowhere I hear "you're gonna have to pay for that"...this walmart sucks!
←Rate | 09-01-2012 14:33 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I write "This is a hold up. I have a gun." in the memo of the checks I write to people and pray they cash them at the teller just to make things interesting...
←Rate | 09-01-2012 14:31 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing's more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in walmart was staring at me.
←Rate | 08-26-2012 11:06 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A womans anger is like a check engine light..there is no way to figure out why it came on so just ignore it and hope it goes away....
←Rate | 08-26-2012 11:05 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not putting metal in your microwave also means not feeling like an awesome sorcerer in your own kitchen.
←Rate | 08-26-2012 11:04 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should make a car that can text you when the car ahead of you brakes.....
←Rate | 08-26-2012 11:04 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My pre-nup will indicate that I'm allowed to unplug her life support system should my phone need charging....
←Rate | 08-26-2012 11:03 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have discovered that when you give people advice through the medium of interpretive dance, they quickly regret asking you for it, and go away.
←Rate | 08-26-2012 11:02 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got caught stealing a book, I explained that I'm dyslexic & thought it was the 'help self' section.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 08:09 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bank card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 08:07 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon No officer, I didn't see you in my rear view; my eyes haven't left my phone for at least the past 5 miles.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 08:07 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've found that the things I'm most interested in aren't really in my best interest.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 08:06 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  




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