Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1079 of 6384
"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ONNNN?!?!" -Every horse being ridden during a civil war reenactment
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09-20-2016 00:42
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Whoever said you don't know what you have until it's gone was definitely talking about toilet paper.
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09-20-2016 00:41
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Did you know, if you hold an empty bottle of Yellow Tail Chardonnay to your ear you can hear a soccer mom complaining that she didn't get her ranch dressing.
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09-20-2016 00:40
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89% of all marriages is spent spooning your wife on the off chance she'll say "okay".
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09-20-2016 00:39
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Today concerns where raised when a glory hole was found in a public toilet. Immediately the Police were called and they are now looking into it.
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09-19-2016 23:01 by Goldie
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Hillary isn't the first woman to say I'm deplorable, and probably won't be the last
Gary Glitter failed his driving test...he did too many minors.
After it was announced that 29 people were Injured in the NY Bombing, Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson was Thankful that ‘Nobody Got Hurt’
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09-19-2016 14:49
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I like the way your medication thinks.
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09-19-2016 09:07
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Everytime this post gets liked a Jihadist gets killed.
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09-19-2016 08:33 by Goldie
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Thank you to the Emmy Awards for reminding me why I don't watch television.
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09-19-2016 07:10
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Before you get serious with a girl, spend some time around her and her mom. You need to observe the future crazy before moving too fast.
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09-18-2016 18:23
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Farting in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
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09-18-2016 14:15
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.... The Feminist movement maintains that "All Men are Pigs" and that "Women are Equal to Men"
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09-18-2016 12:33
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English is confusing because "booty call" and "butt dial" mean very different things.
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09-18-2016 11:06
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Bengazi, deleting emails, donations from Saudi's, defending child rapists and laughing at their victims... feel free to make fun of Trumps hair (as that's all you've got).
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09-18-2016 10:45 by Anthony
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Weed is for people who cant afford cocaine.
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09-18-2016 10:40
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Wine is for parents that don't have a drug dealer.
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09-18-2016 05:00
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Walmart is selling six hot dogs for a dollar if anyone wants to die.
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09-18-2016 04:57
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2016 is awesome!!! Just checked an app to see if a package was delivered to my door yet. I'm on the couch, the door is 5 feet away.
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09-18-2016 04:56
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