Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1079 of 6446

If at first you don't succeed, parachuting isn't for you
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11-17-2016 21:38
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Imagine someone trying to assassinate Trump and the secret service having to yell ,Donald Duck
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11-17-2016 21:32
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Will Seth Meyers continue to be on television now that the Clinton 2016 team is dissolving?

Due to political correctness, "rapists" will now be called "unapproved lovers."
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11-17-2016 17:56
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How can you say you like Maroon-5 ??.... Did you even try Maroons' 1 through 4 ??
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11-17-2016 17:31 by snotty
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They've never overturned the initial electoral vote. It's never been changed. Never. Like Michael Moore's underwear.
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11-17-2016 16:40 by Fazzella
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Went to Starbucks this morning ordered coffee and told them my name was Trump. When my coffee was ready they started yelling my name. 4 out 5 people in the store started crying. It was hilarious....!!!
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11-17-2016 14:37
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12 years of school, 4 years of college; so now I can type "c you @ 2" #reallife

#marriage Girls are never wrong. Until they are. Then they cry and are, somehow, not wrong again.

Congratulations to Marijuana for winning more states than Hillary .

The election in a nutshell: We let the p*ssies play pin the tail on the donkey for a while, then shut the party down.
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11-17-2016 10:04 by Fazzella
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Congrats to Alec Baldwin on securing a steady gig for the next 4 yrs.
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11-17-2016 08:26
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I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
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11-17-2016 06:21
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My doctor said he's been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
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11-17-2016 04:57 by Udit
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Donald Trump says he's only taking $1.00 a year as President. We could have had Hillary for $.77

I haven't seen Democrats this pissed since they were forced to free their slaves.
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11-16-2016 21:57 by Ryan
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Wait, the Goo Goo Dolls and Gin Blossoms aren't the same group??
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11-16-2016 21:22
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Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
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11-16-2016 20:21 by snotty
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With a great @$$ come a lot of eyeballs
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11-16-2016 18:42
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The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that's just science.
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11-16-2016 18:02
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