Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample ovee others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.

So you're going to the Black Friday sales? Didn't you say you were thankful for everything you had yesterday?
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11-25-2016 06:41
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Here's a story,of a LOVELY lady
who was bringing up three very LOVELY girls
all of them had hair of gold, like their mother.
the youngest one in curls. RIP CAROL BRADY

it’s almost 2017 and food can still make you fat get your act together science
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11-25-2016 06:02
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If your name is Nancy and you get pregnant you will be pregnancy.
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11-25-2016 06:01
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I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
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11-25-2016 06:01
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How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
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11-25-2016 06:00
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Why get thinner when you can get more dinner?
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11-25-2016 06:00
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I think the biggest winner after the USA elections is Melania Trump who can finally call herself the first lady instead of the third wife.
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11-25-2016 05:59
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All I'm saying is never ask a bald man if he remembers something off the top of his head.
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11-25-2016 05:58
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silly true fact :'a woman is more responsive to romance when her stomach is full.'
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11-25-2016 05:57
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Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today Should have cooked it on aloha temperature
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11-25-2016 05:57
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Spinning in circles to get dizzy as a child was my first attempt at getting high.
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11-25-2016 05:56
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later is the best time to do anything
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11-25-2016 05:56
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How come documentary makers can find drug makers and hitmen to interview but the police can’t find them?
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11-25-2016 05:56
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Leaving the house with 50% battery on your phone is almost as bad as leaving without your wallet.
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11-25-2016 05:55
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If someone steals your identity, you should have every right to kill them. What are they gonna do, arrest you for suicide?
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11-25-2016 05:55
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It's officially the holiday season, bah hum bug. . .
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11-24-2016 19:16 by JAB
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My wife and girlfriend met, they don't need me anymore ;)
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11-24-2016 18:54
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All this spending on Black Friday! Y'all better pay that electric bill first, or next Friday will be Black Friday too
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11-24-2016 18:31
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