Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon American media be like: "This just in... Russia dumps a load of manure at DNC Headquarters"
←Rate | 11-01-2016 07:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me on a first date: How many FBI investigations does it take for people to realize she's a SCUMBAG. Her: . . .
←Rate | 11-01-2016 07:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon can we all agree if you're old enough to get a job and buy candy, you can't trick or treat anymore?
←Rate | 11-01-2016 05:57 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon One candidate won't release their tax returns, received campaign donations from Russia, facing cases for rape and fraud, bragged by sexual assault. The other is scrutinized by their emails...
←Rate | 11-01-2016 01:06 Comments (3)  


   messageicon not a single treat or treater walked behind my building and up 38 steps to my apartment....oh well, I guess that's 6 more cans of cream of mushroom soup for me!
←Rate | 10-31-2016 20:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it's late and I can't sleep,,, I curl up with a good book and bang it on my head until I'm unconscious.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 19:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't be celebrating Halloween today. You know... where you dress up, pretend to be someone you're not, sing creepy songs about drinking blood, and invite a Spirit to meet you in the haunted house. Sounds too much like church to me.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 17:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't forget, I'm also just a girl; dressed upas a slutty nurse; standing in front of a boy; dressed up as Donald Trump; asking him to finger bang her in the alley before she sobers up.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 17:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just in. Anthony Weiner sends apology sext to entire Clinton campaign.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be dressed up tonight as a dad who sends his kids house to house to beg for handouts while eating their candy in the street like a hobo zombie.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 14:05 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Election 2016. The real American Horror Story.....
←Rate | 10-31-2016 13:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to laugh so hard at all the Hillary haters sucking on it on Nov. 9th. Open wide, and insert Anthony Weiner.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 11:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be glad when this election is over so I can stop making posts that put me on Hillary's hit-list.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 08:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone has to lie, cheat and steal to get your vote, they're not the leader you're looking for.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 07:07 by pimpjuice Comments (1)  


   messageicon When people dressed like witches, strippers and hobos show up at my front door it must be Halloween because my family reunion was in July.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 05:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon " I have known @nthony Weiner for a long long time and consider him a very good friend, His sudden impending suspicious suicide will take a serious toll on all of us." ----- Hillary Clinton
←Rate | 10-30-2016 22:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HA ... According to the Democr@ts and the DNC those so called "Russian Hackers" were much better than we thought!! Apparently they were actually able to hack Hillary's emails from the NSA, Put them on Huma's laptop and then pin it on Mr. Weiner.
←Rate | 10-30-2016 21:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand that includes a threat of vandalism.
←Rate | 10-30-2016 19:02 by Herbie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Flubs. 109 and counting
←Rate | 10-30-2016 18:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all of you Hill@ry supporters out there ..... It might be important to note that Wikileaks has NEVER had to retract even a single story for False Information ..... Period. In short ... They are all true.
←Rate | 10-30-2016 17:58 Comments (0)  




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