Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1037 of 6384
Well I ran out of Halloween Candy really early so I just Shut Off all the Lights and Hid .................. Screw the Ships, my Lighthouse, my Rules!
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11-02-2016 20:53
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Just got a email from a Friend Regarding Saturday Night's Halloween Party .................. "Just because you Dressed up as a Brontosaurus doesn't Mean you can Poop in my Yard and Roar at my Neighbors!"
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11-02-2016 20:53
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Anyone else wanna go out for next Halloween as "Narcissistic Introverts with Alcohol and Drug Dependencies coupled with Porn Addictions" ........... or is it just going to be Me again ?
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11-02-2016 20:50
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Hey Hillary, How does it feel like to be aborted 5 days before delivery?
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11-02-2016 20:35
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Remember on Saturday night to set you clocks back an hour and then on Tuesday, not to set the country back 50 years. .....
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11-02-2016 20:30
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Bad Politicians are elected by Good People who DON'T VOTE!
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11-02-2016 20:30
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Had a few laughs with the boss today. I still hate is guts though.
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11-02-2016 19:52
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Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
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11-02-2016 18:21
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Trump is the tornado. And Hillary is the trailer park.
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11-02-2016 17:09 by Fazzella
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Animals are our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport
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11-02-2016 17:04
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There was a time when I, you know, wouldn't go "down" there...I suggested my girl trim it into a dinosaur shape. That's how my parents got me to eat chicken.
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11-02-2016 15:59 by Fazzella
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People wonder what happened to rock n roll. I'll tell you. It's now made by computers with no talent people who talk, not sing over the song, or others who over-sing and think The Voice exemplifies what singing should be.
Next year i'm definitely going to do the Haunted Mill run because if you say it with a strong accent it sounds like you're saying "hundred mile run"
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11-02-2016 15:20
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Just bought a thesaurus at Goodwill, I got home to discover all the pages are blank, I have no words to describe how angry I am...
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11-02-2016 12:04 by SEAN
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If Trump wins I'm leaving the country. If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
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11-02-2016 11:58
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Hillary's poll numbers are dropping faster than Bill Clinton's pants in an Arkansas trailer park
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11-02-2016 11:48
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Vote Trump and let's get started repairing America.
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11-02-2016 08:20
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The cone of silence. The secret square. The inner circle. Just what the heck is geometry hiding?
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11-02-2016 07:43 by TallMtMan
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Only 364 more days until Halloween!! I know, I know. I can't wait either.
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11-01-2016 22:44
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Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
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11-01-2016 21:17
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