Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Every problem has got a public holiday. World AIDS day, cancer day, Labour Day and today Women's Day
←Rate | 03-08-2017 10:36 Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
←Rate | 03-08-2017 09:49 by bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's International Women's Day. That means only the women with sexy accents right?
←Rate | 03-08-2017 09:36 by Diesel Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rush-hour traffic is flowing smoothly, and there are no accidents on all major freeways. #DayWithoutWomen
←Rate | 03-08-2017 09:06 by slyniti Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daylight Savings Time: I say start it on a Monday at 5 pm. You wouldn't lose the hour on Sunday, and it would shorten Monday.
←Rate | 03-08-2017 07:50 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon The truth shall set you free. Unless you are in court. Then you should probably just shut up.
←Rate | 03-08-2017 07:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never forget your first love. No matter how hard you try.
←Rate | 03-08-2017 07:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Don't MAKE me turn this beat around!" -Gloria Estefan yelling at her kids.
←Rate | 03-08-2017 07:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just called BS but it went straight to voicemail.
←Rate | 03-08-2017 07:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st, and that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage
←Rate | 03-08-2017 04:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend is training for 2020 Olympics where she'll be competing in the Conclusion Jump.
←Rate | 03-07-2017 23:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Interviewer: You responded to my question too briefly and you were hesitant. Me: I was thinking how stupid was your question!
←Rate | 03-07-2017 23:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've I heard people want to boycott Beauty and the Beast because there's a gay character in it. It's okay for a teenage girl to fall in love with a rabid, hairy dog, but you can't have a gay person in a movie?
←Rate | 03-07-2017 20:17 by HotTea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to say goodbye to some of you now. Let's see you reads my page. If you are my friend click like and copy and paste this to your fridge.
←Rate | 03-07-2017 20:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Almost time to play my favorite Spring time game....'Guess how deep that pothole really is.'
←Rate | 03-07-2017 19:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'We do not eat anything we find in the couch' is apparently something I have to say now.
←Rate | 03-07-2017 19:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hit a pothole so hard, Siri developed a stutter !
←Rate | 03-07-2017 18:39 by Ceeks Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when you see a commercial for "Designated Survivor" and wished it was reality.
←Rate | 03-07-2017 17:32 by Vertigo21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A guy just busted down my door and claimed to be a Bounty Hunter. I said, "You won't take me alive!" He looked at me as if I had two heads, then stole my paper towels.
←Rate | 03-07-2017 16:59 by Mick Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you ever feel alone, just remember you can talk to the CIA using your phone or smart TV... #Vault7
←Rate | 03-07-2017 14:13 by CrackY Comments (0)  




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