anonymous Funny Status Messages

   trying to stop being indecisive, but is not sure about it...

   the reason Waldo is hiding

   in a relationship with Jack Daniel's.

   being chased by a hungry pack of wild poodles!

   only shoplifting discount stores, because jail sentences are based on cost of goods stolen.

   One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri

   To catch me, you gotta be fast; to find me, you gotta be smart; but to BE ME!! DAMN! You must be kidding!

   getting Jiggy with it!

   will return after a brief word from our sponsors

   optimusly Primed

   blaming it on the rain.

   Save a horse, ride the bus.

   "insert clever remark here."

   "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." -- Randy Pausch

   the cause of your drinking problem.

   nourishing his inner child with Cheetos and beer.

   trying to get the taste of last night's date's mouth out of his mouth.

   thinking about sex, every 15 nanoseconds.

   never fakes it!

   poured his heart out, it evaporated....