Doc Noland Funny Status Messages

   Never tell a zombie that he looks like death warmed over

   So the pope is aborting his papacy before it reaches full term?

   Women sleeping in Bras... Nice try Hollywood.

   The only reason I've made it this far in life is because I have the Hyrule Field theme song from Zelda playing on repeat inside my head.

   Yes I feel great this morning. Thank you wine netti pot.

   So they found Richard III under a parking lot. We wil probably find Hoffa under a church.

   Does Krystal accept Valentines day reservations for one?

   My computer is frozen up... and it looks like moving my mouse around in circles will not fix the problem.

   "Just Be yourself" is something I rarely hear from people who know me well.

   I never got any good mail on Saturday anyway.

   I am terrible at making comparisons. I guess I'm alot like a taco that way.

   Ron Jeremy has got to be disappointed in the nurses he’s seeing.

   Even though she never existed, Brent Musberger is hoorny for Manti Te'o dead girlfriend.

   Ashley Madison is my favorite cheating website named after the two most spoiled girls in every 4th grade class.

   Doesn't North Korea understand that these grand threats will result in a harsh musical rebuke from Toby Keith?

   Im a wreck to be forcened with.

   I am never too busy to draw a d!k on a foggy window

   I have been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions

   I bet the kids on Africa are really getting tired of all those leftover Patriots Championship t-shirts.

   Manti Te'o wasnt missing tackles in the National Championship, he was hugging his girlfriend.