@The69Sheriff Funny Status Messages

   Time flies when you're having beer.

   doesn't accept blame well... but it's not my fault.

   recommended by 4 out of 5 ex-girlfriends.

   hates being asked if I've had any "past experience." Is there any other kind?

   likes to believe the spell czech on my computer has never failed me.

   finds it ironic that I have to get out of bed on humpday.

   The most effective part of bringing my laptop to the coffee shop so I can "work" is the "lying to myself."

   thinks the world would be a lot more fun if people screamed when they yawned...

   doesn't think drinking will solve your problems... but it will give you lots of interesting new ones.

   doesn't think you should ever compliment a lady on her mustache... no matter how magnificent it is.

   thinks living well may be the best revenge... but rubbing your ass all over someone's cell phone is pretty good too.

   thinks that swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

   can tell you the 5 most unappealing words in the English language... Used Hot Tub For Sale.

   a problem with Kinect for X-Box... if I wanted to use my entire body to play sports... I would just play sports.