Funny Status Messages

   Walmart's Mexico unit said on Thursday it would invest more than $6 billion in the country this year

   Jeeziz. Walmart's Mexico unit said on Thursday it would invest more than $6 billion in the country this year.

   One more! Walmart just took a dump all over the M*G* losers by announcing over $6 billion in investments in Mexico this year — despite Trump's promise that his tariffs would force companies back to the US. Hardy har har har 😂

   That was a fun way to kill 10 minutes. See you dumbass sheep losers with no creativity whatsoever tomorrow.

   ABC News An unthinkable breach of national security CBS News An unthinkable breach of national security MSNBC An unthinkable breach of national security CNN An unthinkable breach of national security Fox We've all texted the wrong person befor

   OF COURSE HE TWEETS AT 3 A.M. THAT'S 11 A.M. HERE IN MOSCOW, WHERE HE GETS HIS ORDERS FROM. Good dog.

   THE "BUT HER EMAILS" CROWD IS REAAAL QUIET RIGHT NOW. You're all like one big f'ing SNL skit LOL

   People everywhere are now referring to Pete Hegseth as “WhiskeyLeaks” and we're kinda mad that we didn’t think of it first.

   BREAKING NEWS JD and Usha Vance trip to Greenland canceled after US officials couldn't find a single resident who wanted to greet them BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

   BREAKING NEWS RFK admits to being on Jeffrey Epstein's jet at least twice.

   45 year-old M*G* man looking for 13-year-old M*G* boy for fun and discreet visits behind the local waterpark this summer.

   If not for our insanely stupid administration, the l*fticles wouldn't ever have anything to make fun of. Wait..... that came out wrong.

   The States used to be a respected, powerful nation. Now, you're being laughed at and mocked by the entire world. And the majority of your country. Comedians, talkshow hosts, everyone lol. You're all clown shoes. Weak, stupid and embarrassing.

   Nothing owns Libs harder than day-drunk-texting top secret war plans to reporters. “Cry harder” posts coming in 3 2 1

   I'm funny I tell you!

   Bl@cks were given Bl@ck History Month because Father's Day doesn't exist for them.

   You know someone has made no valid points when they end their responses with LMAOOOO and LOLZZZZZ. It's a beautiful thing to know we've bested the loser.

   Keep dreaming, 3rd world left*e. Mad because Trump deported you back to Assholevania?

   Good morning haters!

   When a woman laughs during an argument, please know that the psycho part of her brain has been activated. Abort mission.