father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   I forgot to buckle my 5 year old up in the car today, and while leaving the parking lot, this guy yells, "You're an irresponsible father!". I was like, "What the hell is that guy's problem? Stop the car son!"

   RIP ... George Jefferson.....Father of Swag

   Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means? Father: It means 'to be happy'. Son: Are you gay? Father: No, son. I have a wife.

   A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.

   Good mourning...... I hope everyone had a Happy Father's Day, oh..everyone except Jerry Sandusky!!

   Happy Ugly Father's day tie, day!

   Happy Father's Day to all the dads...and whoever's raising T.O.'s kids.

   I wonder what Lebron got Delonte West for Father's Day?

   happy father's day to all my daddy's... no homo though

   I need to do something reproductive today. Happy Father's Day

   Anyone who says single moms don't do both roles of a mother & father when the father doesn't spend time or money with his children is THE DEAD BEAT we are referring to!!

   Just sent out 200 text messages to random phone numbers saying "Happy Father's Day! I'm pregnant!" Now listening to the police scanner for my daily entertainment.

   Happy Father's Day to all the single mothers who do both roles due to dead beat dads.

   The celebration of single moms on fathers day blows me! Single moms do some amazing things but being a father isn't one of them.

   Still no Fathers Day card from my kids. Just because they are short, furry and talk funny is no excuse....it's hard being a single father.

   Dear Dad, thanks for not pulling out. Happy Father's Day!

   Just woke my kids up and told them, “It's Father's Day! Where's my present?” They just started crying.

   Happy Father's Day to all the Dads who went out to get some milk, & actually came back home.

   If I can just make it one more day without some kid that I've never seen before wishing me a happy father's day this weekend will be a success.

   A handprint in clay is a great Father's Day gift from a three year old. Kinda creepy from a thirty year old, though.