santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   This Christmas instead of gifts I'm giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

   I hate to break it to ya, ladies... but those Christmas cookies you bake every holiday season? Not that good.

   Today's advice: sing Christmas songs at work until they send you home.

   Starting today, anyone who even mildly annoys me is having their number handed out to every child I come across, and told that it's Santa's hotline.

   I didn't even know what to buy people for Christmas until I heard about these exploding pagers and walki-talkies.

   What did the little black boy get for Christmas? My bike.

   Well, it's July and almost 100 degrees. Walmart should be putting the Christmas stuff out any day now!

   No New Year, No Groundhog, No Valintine, and now no New President. Holidays suck anymore.

   Okay now that Christmas is over, I'm ready for summer!

   To get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays, put it in an Amazon box and leave it on the porch.