santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Christmas > Easter. Christmas = Lasagna. Easter = Hard Boiled Eggs. I hope this helps to clear things up.

   Alright we got Christmas presents out the way where my W2 at

   A Charlie Brown Christmas, but the tree is Eric Trump’s brainchild: flimsy, artificial, and overinflated by Dad’s credit card.

   Gary's tips for the holidays: 1. Forget the past. You can't change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn't get you one.

   No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still fun to bonk someone over the head with.

   Christmas is an illusion. It's based on 2 fairy tales. One features a guy in a red suit, the other in a crummy stable without Netflix.

   The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to wrap everything you own in tinsel and hope for the best.

   Drones over New Jersey? That's just Amazon delivering Christmas presents. No biggie.

   Santa said the illegals have been so bad this year that they were put on top of the ICE list

   Santa said I've been so good this year that he put me at the top of his nice list.